View Full Version : Worst Pickup Lines
black671
08-18-2009, 06:25 AM
Gentlemen (and gentlewomans), I have heard my share of horrible, perverted, slurred pickup lines in my day; hell ive even dealt a few. but i would like to hear some of your worst pickup lines evar.
I'll start: "Were you dropped on your head as a kid, because you look special to me."
one of them
08-18-2009, 06:44 AM
A cat falls into the water and a rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story? A wet pussy always makes a happy cock.
(Taken from XKCD)
"If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put your sister and I together."
"Is your father a theif ? Because that's totally my Jetta you parked outside."
"You must be tired 'cause you've been running through my head all night... screaming."
One of mine:
"Hey if I flip this coin what do you think my chances are of getting head?"
black671
08-18-2009, 07:00 AM
"Get in the car."
Nuttz
08-18-2009, 07:28 AM
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Works every time...
Fernsy
08-18-2009, 07:30 AM
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Works every time...
Fool proof!
Nuttz
08-18-2009, 07:30 AM
BlackCat, get the fuck in here and share some gurl pickup lines.
Icy Lemon
08-18-2009, 07:40 AM
So i hear you're a naughty girl...
...a filthy slut...
...a sick, disgusting, filthy, maniacle, slut, bitch-ass, faggot, cunt, whore.
Girls cant get enough of it.
Waterboy2go
08-18-2009, 07:59 AM
The best bone inside your body, is mine
Steve Cloud
08-18-2009, 08:12 AM
"Hey, I'm Steve. Can I get you a drink?"
SlainPwner666
08-18-2009, 02:01 PM
I ain't Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make the bedrock!
Nice pants. They would look better on my bed room floor.
Is there a mirror on your pants? I can see myself inside of them.
Oh god, I got a million of these.
Zombie Hunter
08-18-2009, 02:12 PM
All this can be yours for one very, very low price
Infest0125
08-18-2009, 02:13 PM
Here's a good one since I don't know any bad ones:
"I bet you 20 bucks you're gonna reject me!"
Geoff Portnoy
08-18-2009, 02:29 PM
Do you want to see something swell?
SlainPwner666
08-18-2009, 02:54 PM
Here's a good one since I don't know any bad ones:
"I bet you 20 bucks you're gonna reject me!"
Similar one.
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but have we met?"
Bloodshed269
08-18-2009, 03:03 PM
"Ayo bitch, lemme get dem digits."
"Listen hear, baby. I noticed you noticing me, and I just want to put you on notice, that I'm noticing you too.
Slochk
08-18-2009, 03:55 PM
"theres a party in my pants and you'r invited"
Easton Dark
08-18-2009, 04:10 PM
Hey baby. *pause*
My penis is really small, don't believe me? Take a look. You have to get reeeeealllllly close.
Heey you! listen up, or pornography starring your mother will be second worst thing that happens to you today...
http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/partyinmypants.png (http://www.explosm.net/comics/1758/)
--------------------
http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/haircut.png (http://www.explosm.net/comics/1768/)
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net (http://www.explosm.net/)
hiryu
08-18-2009, 06:14 PM
I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
binge
08-18-2009, 06:25 PM
"Hey, I'm Steve. Can I get you a drink?"
qft
(yes, my name is also Steve)
seaniepoo
08-18-2009, 06:33 PM
My gay friend called. He said he is going back to liking ladies. He also said that it was all your fault.
Skypn1333
08-18-2009, 07:11 PM
This thread reminds me of a song entitled...
Wanna B Ur Lovr-Weird Al
(That is how the song is spelled)
Two of my favorites from this song...
"How'd you get through security? 'Cause baby you're the bomb."
"I don't have a library card. But do you mind if I check you out?"
hunterhunter
08-18-2009, 09:16 PM
how 'bout me and you get better acquainted
Slochk
08-18-2009, 10:23 PM
"i love you"
"hey lets have vaginal intercourse"
Jesus123
08-18-2009, 10:25 PM
"You, me, and a pack of brewskys"
Deadly
08-18-2009, 10:38 PM
*person coughs*
"You sound like you need a Halls"
ThoughtThinking
08-18-2009, 11:16 PM
"Hey Bitch get down and suck NAO!"
Always works.
Easton Dark
08-18-2009, 11:28 PM
"Hey Bitch get down and suck NAO!"
Always works.
Really? Hold on right here
*walks down the hall*
*knock knock*
Hey Eclaris, ThoughtThinking said that I should tell you to get down and suck it, bitch.
Eclaris? What are you looking at?
What are you doing with that knife?
Oh No..
HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPP
hunterhunter
08-18-2009, 11:29 PM
^epic lulz....I can see that happening too
ThoughtThinking
08-18-2009, 11:34 PM
Really? Hold on right here
*walks down the hall*
*knock knock*
Hey Eclaris, ThoughtThinking said that I should tell you to get down and suck it, bitch.
Eclaris? What are you looking at?
What are you doing with that knife?
Oh No..
HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPP
:eek:
Of course only Eclaris would do that to me.
Oh well theres moar fish in teh sea.
Lets try that on blackcat....
OT:Heres another one
"Hey do you like peanuts?Because i have some in my pants!"
hunterhunter
08-18-2009, 11:39 PM
Eclaris=Eclaris
blackcat=bad luck....you wont live to tell
OT:so....when you gon lemme fuck.....?(the ass kicking the guy received after saying that was beyond lulz worthy)
EClaris
08-18-2009, 11:46 PM
okay fine
A bajillion internet points to who can name the movie its from
"Oh what's this? It's halothane"
Infest0125
08-19-2009, 12:14 AM
Sex is a lot more fun than rape. It's your choice!
Bloodshed269
08-19-2009, 12:31 AM
Are you a nazi?
Zombie Hunter
08-19-2009, 02:51 AM
"get your coat, you have been pulled"
ThoughtThinking
08-19-2009, 03:39 AM
"Giggidy Giggidy Goo!"
Seems to work for Quagmire.
Did you fart? cause you blew me away
Claudia
08-19-2009, 11:35 AM
"Hey, I'm Steve. Can I get you a drink?"
Epic win!
"So. Wanna make out?"
Icy Lemon
08-19-2009, 11:38 AM
"Hello, i'm from Ireland."
Zombie Hunter
08-19-2009, 11:59 AM
"Hello, i'm from Ireland."
or "kiss me im irish"
that works too ^^
Claudia
08-19-2009, 12:01 PM
"Hello, i'm from Ireland."
*glomp*
:D
"So. I don't see a ring on your finger. Wanna fuck?"
I've heard that before.
Skypn1333
08-19-2009, 12:22 PM
Sex is a lot more fun than rape. It's your choice!
Hmmm, that reminds me of something...
http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/sex.jpg (http://www.explosm.net/comics/105/)
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net (http://www.explosm.net/)
Jub8Jub
08-19-2009, 12:53 PM
"theres a party in my pants and you'r invited"
you got to say it in Espanol so you will be more sexier.
hay una fiesta en mis pantalones y se le invita
PropheticMerc
08-19-2009, 12:58 PM
Well, this requires more than just talking, but it's quite funny.
You hook one of your fingers telling them to "come here" and when they get over to you you whisper "If I can get you to come with just ONE finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
Slochk
08-19-2009, 01:45 PM
you got to say it in Espanol so you will be more sexier.
hay una fiesta en mis pantalones y se le invita
i lol'd hard, im sending this to my Dominican friend :D
Bloodshed269
08-19-2009, 06:01 PM
"I'm not gay, sooo......"
hunterhunter
08-19-2009, 10:31 PM
.......I love you.....
40%-60% chance of success
40% yes
60% no
0% I love you too so lets make out
ThoughtThinking
08-19-2009, 11:47 PM
Well, this requires more than just talking, but it's quite funny.
You hook one of your fingers telling them to "come here" and when they get over to you you whisper "If I can get you to come with just ONE finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
Pwned.
"Hey You blow me."
Bloodshed269
08-20-2009, 12:06 AM
Pwned.
"Hey You blow me."
"...away??"
Zombie Hunter
08-20-2009, 12:10 AM
"do you know what an austrillian kiss is? its like a french kiss, ONLY DOWN UNDER :D"
Deadly
08-20-2009, 12:19 AM
okay fine
A bajillion internet points to who can name the movie its from
"Oh what's this? It's halothane"
Let the Left One In?
"I heard you like fish"
SlainPwner666
08-20-2009, 12:23 AM
"Hello, i'm from Ireland."
BITCH STEALIN MAH PICKUP LINE.
caps
black671
08-20-2009, 02:40 AM
"tend to my every demand, and i wont stick it in ur pooper tonight"
*doesnt always work*
ThoughtThinking
08-20-2009, 06:19 AM
"Hey wana have sex?"
lol.
HolyEvilz
08-20-2009, 09:38 AM
Hey, i herd u liek mudkipz.
Theres a disfigured one in my pants.
hunterhunter
08-20-2009, 12:13 PM
....need any more sexual tension....?
JayEmmAre
08-20-2009, 01:18 PM
....need any more sexual tension....?
"Jump on it! Jump on it!"
Jesus123
08-20-2009, 01:53 PM
....need any more sexual tension....?
holy jesus fucking christ, she's hot!
hunterhunter
08-20-2009, 06:32 PM
you must be a genius...because you make me feel special.....XD......ahhhhh 4th grade
ThoughtThinking
08-20-2009, 07:02 PM
"Hey Are you a lesbian?If not lets have sex."
lol i made this one up!
and it fails.
^_^
hunterhunter
08-23-2009, 01:09 AM
jesus christ,you're so fucking hawt!
(side note: only works when your friends make a bet and you lose)
Bloodshed269
08-23-2009, 01:34 AM
Well, this requires more than just talking, but it's quite funny.
You hook one of your fingers telling them to "come here" and when they get over to you you whisper "If I can get you to come with just ONE finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"
I have ten fingers(technically 8(or is it 6?))
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