Beginning of my first zombie story

[nolife2000]

woot I kept reading stories from everyone else on these forums and i'd like to have my own whack at it

and i know it's kinda cheesy

[nolife2000]

Reanimation

Beep! Beep! Beep! Joe slammed his alarm clock in exhaustion and rolled back over on to his back. Knowing he couldn't be late to work again he slowly sat up. He then stood up and shuffled towards the shower. As he neared the door pain pierced through his foot when he stepped on a disconnected power plug.
"God damn it," he muttered grasping his foot. Continuing his journey to the shower he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Man I'm a wreck, he thought to himself, seeing the effects from last night. He turned on the shower just to find out that all the hot water in that flat had already been used. He slammed the bathroom wall in desperation. Great, just great! Can nothing go my way for once? Joe took the quickest shower of his life before he speedily got dressed.

Joe hurried in to his kitchen and started to make some coffee. He only had one T.V in his flat and he kept it in his kitchen, because that's where he usually spends his spare time. He turned on the news while he waited for his coffee. He flipped through the channels to find that they were almost all switched to emergency channels. Joe knew it was because of a virus that was going around and turned it off, thinking that he didn't need to be further informed on the matter. After the coffee was done Joe chugged it down at a quick rate knowing he was already late. He briskly walked to the door and out to his motorcycle.

Joe bought his Kawasaki back in the late 90's knowing that the fuel crisis was imminent. Well he was right and now save loads of money on his fuel efficient Ninja. He jumped on his bike and tried to start. It barely started and the low fuel icon was lit up. He didn't have time to stop for gas so he sped down the road. He leaned into the next turn and rode into the city.

"No, I want those crates of burgers over there!" exclaimed the burly store owner.
"But Frank, they won't fit. I'll just put them..."
"Just get them to fit!" Frank told his employee. "We don't have much time until the inspector gets here, and half my employees called in sick. So it's up to us to get this place into shape,"
"Alright, I'll get to it," said the worker as he scurried off. Frank rushed to the back of the store for a broom to clean the kitchen. When he got to the closet he struggled to find it.
"Where the hell's the broom?" yelled frank.
"Near the door," someone said back. Frank, angrier than usual, barreled through the restaurant to the front. As he reached for it he saw a bunch of cars go speeding through the streets recklessly. Damn street racers, thought Frank. He picked up the broom and made his way to the kitchen.

As Frank was cleaning the kitchen he heard a large group of police cruisers head in the direction that the speeding cars came from. Serves them right, he thought, thinking they were going to break up the racers. Not long after the police went by he saw crowds of people fleeing through the streets, and heard gunshots. Frank made his way to the front window to look out. When he arrived at the front he watched in terror as he saw police shooting down what looked like rioters from afar. One officer was too close to them and was dragged down to the ground. Something was different here though, when the knocked the officer down they didn't beat him, they bit him. Frank stared in awe.
"What the..."

Joe pulled in to the employee parking lot at Tech corp. He looked for an open space and found one all the way at the entrance of the lot. He quickly parked his bike and jogged to the front door. He got in at 9:00, more than half an hour late. Hoping to avoid his boss he went all the way around the cubicles. He was almost to his desk when he walked right into his boss.
"Whoops, sorry Mr. Monaghan, I was just on my way to my desk," explained Joe.
"You're 31 minutes late," said Mr. Monaghan looking at his watch.
"I know, I know it's just that my girl friend dumped me last night and I had a rough morning,"
"Well then today's going to be even worse. You're fired," told Mr. Monaghan without emotion, leaving Joe just standing there shocked. Joe then slowly made his way to the door. When he arrived at the door he turned back around at his boss.
"You know what Mr. Monaghan, you're a piece of..." before Joe could finish, 3 emergency vehicles came speeding down the road, blaring their sirens as they went by. Before Mr. Monaghan could ask him to repeat what he had said, Joe was out the front doors. He barged out the lobby and to his bike, without concern of his current safety. He was too busy running everything that happened as of late to notice all the sirens and gunshots. He just wanted to get home and lock out the problems of the outside world. When he got to his bike he tried to start it but it would start to chug then fail. Joe placed his head in his lap and asked himself. "Why?" Yet he had no idea how bad his day was about to be.

[nolife2000]

bump

please gimme some friendly criticism

[Ellis]

i wouldent call it chessy in my oppinion any fan fiction is good fan fiction

[degeneration]

i think it's good man. Keep it up! its cool to see other people writing stories.

[TheDark12]

This fan fiction is pretty impressive. My only advice is to watch your tense.

I can't find the example, but you went from past to present to past again.
My other advice is to try to separate character changes more difinitively. I use three stars to separate my paragraphs - ***
Lastly, I'd use italics to separate a character's thoughts from the narrative.

Apart from that, excellent work! A worthy read for sure!