My friend needs some help please

[willyb]

Hey guys my friend needs some help. be nice hes very sensitive

You see, he likes this girl, and she likes him back but they cant date because of her mom. but, hes decided that hes going to act like theyre dating anyway, so that when they do offically date, it will be easy. and he really likes her, and wants to kiss her, for whatever reason idk. but, hes asking how, because he has never kissed a girl before apparently. any advice for him? i told him not to worry about it and just do it.

[Steve Cloud]

The tongue, man. Use the tongue!

[willyb]

The tongue, man. Use the tongue!


he says he dont know how

[lilsamuraijoe]

You don't have to "date" someone to be in a real relationship. You shouldn't feel pressured to. Just find a group of friends to hang out with and spend time witeachother. Get to know her and see if you really like her.

That or you could always try talking to the mother.

[willyb]

You don't have to "date" someone to be in a real relationship. You shouldn't feel pressured to. Just find a group of friends to hang out with and spend time witeachother. Get to know her and see if you really like her.


He says: "i already know her. were already friends. i do really like her. she really does lke me"

[Steve Cloud]

he says he dont know how

Its really easy, you just sort of...

Well, its hard to say, but if you imagine your tongues are two dogs getting it on, you'll be heading in the right direction.

[willyb]

two dogs getting it on

he says "why would i think of two dogs getting it on when im kissing a girl?"

[lilsamuraijoe]

He says: "i already know her. were already friends. i do really like her. she really does lke me"

What more do you want? Just find an "enclosed location" and kiss the girl!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/84/Sebastianthecrab.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/84/Sebastianthecrab.jpg)

Just man up and do it. Nobody teaches you how to kiss a girl.

[JudicialT]

I'm... I'm sorry.

You came looking for this advice here?!

[Steve Cloud]

"why would i think of two dogs getting it on when im kissing a girl?"


Think of it as an artist using reference.

[Girls Are Pretty]

You need to buy your friend a brain on EBay for Christmas because kissing is one of the easiest acts imaginable. You attach lips A to lips B. BINGO.

[Thor-axe]

Obvious fake friend is fake, OP is 'friend'.

Obvious fake friend is fake, OP is 'friend'.
Captain Obvious is Obvious.

P.S. www.4chan.org (http://www.4chan.org) is better at giving advice I've heard.

[DeltaBishop]

Is this for real?
You came to the 411 forums for advice?

[lilsamuraijoe]

Is this for real?
You came to the 411 forums for advice?

Just because you have never kissed a girl doesn't mean there isn't advice to be heard!

[willyb]

Think of it as an artist using reference.



hes not making out with her btw, just kissing... like a normal kiss liek you would kiss your momma.

[Girls Are Pretty]

Thor made me laugh. <3

[Thor-axe]

hes not making out with her btw, just kissing... like a normal kiss liek you would kiss your momma.
Obvous Preeteen is obvious.

[JudicialT]

Push your lips together.

Put your lips to her lips/face.

Suck ever so slightly.

Grow a brain.

[Steve Cloud]

hes not making out with her btw, just kissing... like a normal kiss liek you would kiss your momma.

Upgrade it to make-out session immediately.

[willyb]

Obvious fake friend is fake, OP is 'friend'.


Steve cloud can vouch for me that i already HAVE a girl. A while back i put up a thread about what to get with some extra money, and the conversation turned to ottoman couches and buying one for my girl. heres a link:
http://www.left4dead411.com/forums/index.php?actio n=vthread&forum=3&topic=7102&page=0 (http://www.left4dead411.com/forums/index.php?action=vthread&forum=3&topic=7102&page=0)

so clearly im not the friend. My FRIEND is the friend.

[Girls Are Pretty]

Your friend just needs to facebutt her in slow motion.

[willyb]

Suck ever so slightly.


were talking about KISSING, not blowing someone

[Steve Cloud]

Its true. This shit is legit.

[Thor-axe]

Shoudl have listened to me when I said:
Get some of the L4D clothes on the steam site. I ordered two shirts, all the posters, and a mousepad.
If it really is another friend, why is he making you do this?

I remember the awkwardness of middle school and kissing and what not(even though I was a whore in middle school) but honestly just go with your gut, don't listen to us because all we are gonna say is what you don't wanna hear.

[JudicialT]

Quoting: JudicialT
Suck ever so slightly.


were talking about KISSING, not blowing someone

...no shit?

[willyb]

Its true. This shit is legit.


thank you steve

[willyb]

why is he making you do this?


to be honest, he saw some other threads and thot all your replies would be hilarious and wanted to have a good laugh

but he really does want advice tho

[willyb]

Quoting: willyb
Quoting: JudicialT
Suck ever so slightly.


were talking about KISSING, not blowing someone


...no shit?


he wanted me to say that to you

[lilsamuraijoe]

Just kiss and run.

[JudicialT]

Then why doesn't he do it himself?

Then tell him to listen to our advice and SUCK EVER SO SLIGHTLY!

You shouldn't even know what a blowjob is young man!

[willyb]

Then why doesn't he do it himself?


he doesnt have an account on this forum

[Steve Cloud]

Why bother making an account just for one thread?

[JudicialT]

Tell him to make one and get involved, if he thinks we're so entertaining!

[willyb]

Why bother making an account just for one thread?


exactly my thoughts.

and besides wether it is him (it is) or me in 'disguise' it doesnt change the question. jsut answer it

[JudicialT]

I think we've proven by this point that it is indeed willyb in need of advice.

[willyb]

we're so entertaining!

your not entertaining, so dont say &quot;we&quot;. your annoying and need to just leave the thread or stop complaining

[lilsamuraijoe]

Like I said. Kiss her on the way out. Walk/drive her home from school one day and kiss her at the front door and then book it. This way you won't have to explain yourself and you'll leave her wanting more.

[Steve Cloud]

And if possible, snatch some ass on the way out, if you know what I mean.

[JudicialT]

your not entertaining, so dont say &quot;we&quot;. your annoying and need to just leave the thread or stop complaining

I beg to differ. :)

I've given you advice; I've followed the thread. And perhaps some would argue that I am not very entertaining; but I can name a great many people who would find you very, very annoying.

[Thor-axe]

Its true. This shit is legit.
WRONG
http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/833/thisshitisbananasrevsv3.jpg

Sorry I'm late, took me FOREVER to find this picture.

[willyb]

Like I said. Kiss her on the way out. Walk/drive her home from school one day and kiss her at the front door and then book it. This way you won't have to explain yourself and you'll leave her wanting more.



good advice

[JudicialT]

FUCKING LOL

I love this forum. :D

[lilsamuraijoe]

Yeah that one was called the Kiss and Run ®


If you are willing to lose some karma points, you can always kill the pet. In her grievance she'll need someone to support her. When she hugs that is when you strike.

[willyb]

If you are willing to lose some karma points, you can always kill the pet. In her grievance she'll need someone to support her. When she hugs that is when you strike.



her last man tried that and she never got a new animal. so i cant do that

[JudicialT]

If you are willing to lose some karma points, you can always kill the pet. In her grievance she'll need someone to support her. When she hugs that is when you strike.


Sounds like a quest option in Fallout 3. O.o

[Steve Cloud]

her last man tried that and she never got a new animal. so i cant do that

Two new dogs...artist's reference...

[willyb]

Two new dogs...artist's reference...



you have some interesting theories....

[Steve Cloud]

By the way, girls love rough guys. Grab her by the shoulder and get right in there, THEN haul ass.

That'll actually leave her wanting more.

[willyb]

By the way, girls love rough guys. Grab her by the shoulder and get right in there, THEN haul ass.

That'll actually leave her wanting more.

hes got a basic plan sketched out. sometihn similar to that

[Xsng]

Just tell her what's up. Tell your friend to find a quiet safe place. Then he can start unzipping his pants right away. He might need to do some foreplay first to loosen her up, but once things get going, he won't need to worry about anything else....

[willyb]

Just tell her what's up. Tell your friend to find a quiet safe place. Then he can start unzipping his pants right away. He might need to do some foreplay first to loosen her up, but once things get going, he won't need to worry about anything else....



lol he wishes

[Thor-axe]

but once things get going, he won't need to worry about anything else....
Ecept premature ejaculation, AIDS, STDS, being caught, or getting her pregnent. Other than that, homefree baby!

[lilsamuraijoe]

It should be easy for your friend. I had to beat-up a couple boyfriends myself just to chat with this one chick one time and your friend thinks kissing a girl that already likes you is hard.

[willyb]

he thinks

yea hes a bit... undersocial...

[Xsng]

Ecept premature ejaculation, AIDS, STDS, being caught, or getting her pregnent. Other than that, homefree baby!

Psssshhh. All those pale in comparison to what he could experience from just one kiss.

[lilsamuraijoe]

well the sooner he gets over kissing his girl the sooner he is going to have to worry about his girl kissing other guys. When it comes to that I can give advice as well. Most of it involves violence (against the guy).

[willyb]

well the sooner he gets over kissing his girl the sooner he is going to have to worry about his girl kissing other guys.

man thats really good advice. and true too. thanks

[lilsamuraijoe]

Sure thing man. Everybody needs to play the game.

[Infest0125]

The best thing, just slowly move in and give her a kiss on the lips. Girls LOVE that.

[lilsamuraijoe]

The best thing, just slowly move in and give her a kiss on the lips. Girls LOVE that.



That only happens in the movies man. You'll die of old age before you get the perfect opportunity to do the slow kiss.

[Infest0125]

That only happens in the movies man. You'll die of old age before you get the perfect opportunity to do the slow kiss.

Explain why I and my friends have done it then........

[EClaris]

Explain why I and my friends have done it then........
awkward wording is awkward

[Infest0125]

awkward wording is awkward

One of them was with one of my friends, but her and I had a thing at the time.

As for my other friends, they've done the slow kiss a lot of times with their exes and partners.

[lilsamuraijoe]

They most likely weren't first encounters. That or you were just being hesitant and didn't know what you were doing. Or I'm just doing it wrong because thats never worked for me.

And I'm going to stop posting here before someone calls me a creep.

[Steve Cloud]

Wow, 3 pages in 1 hour and 29 minutes. Thats got to be a record.

[DeMoNsXWiThInnX]

he says he dont know how

Ahahahah! Roflz! Im sorry im sorry. It had to come out! A hem! Simply, Smooth Talk teh chiks mommy into a seduced sate. Perhaps some Sleeping pills and large amount of Alcohol. THEN! The good part.which is. have fun.

[Infest0125]

Ahahahah! Roflz! Im sorry im sorry. It had to come out! A hem! Simply, Smooth Talk teh chiks mommy into a seduced sate. Perhaps some Sleeping pills and large amount of Alcohol. THEN! The good part.which is. have fun.

He said kiss her, not intoxicate and rape her.

Use the search button, there's a thread for that you twat!! ;)

[DeMoNsXWiThInnX]

He said kiss her, not intoxicate and rape her.

Use the search button, there's a thread for that you twat!! ;)

Hey hey, Woah Woah. I said Have fun. Not rape! HOW DO YOU KNOW I DIDNT MEAN WATCH A MOVIE WHILE SHE SLEEPS! SICKO! Dont bring your perverted fanticys into these Thread. ;)

[Infest0125]

I am so proud of you motherfuckers.

[Xaos Falcon]

Screw her, I detect traces of MILF in her mom.