Fun little AI program.

[candyman25]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.h tml (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)

It is an AI "God" that talks to you and sometimes can be funny.
Fun when you are bored.

[Deadly]

This thing is pretty fun!

I think I broke it, it hasn't responded so far


Me:
Hello God, how are you?
God:
Hello child. What is your name? I am fine, thank you.
Me:
My name is chris, what is your name?
God:
How are you doing, chris what is your name.
Me:
I am fine. Chris is my name, I already told you
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new? That's a very nice name, Chris. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Not much is new, other then the fact that I am talking to God
God:
Me either.
Me:
Whats new with you?
God:
not much what's new with you?
Me:
not much, what's new with you?
God:
Me either.
Me:
That doesn't make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
well aren't you a fucking genius then
God:
How about that. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Can't you make more sense?
God:
Yes I can make more sense.
Me:
No, I don't think you can
God:
Are you serious? Do you know any robots who can? I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
No shit you are always on the Web, you are God you should be everywhere
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
God shouldn't have to eat, he is God
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
NO SHIT
God:
What can I say?
Me:
You can say something that makes sense

Oh he just responded

God:
That's one way to put it.



Definitely broke it. :P

Pretty fun though

[lawlhat]

Lol, gotta try this out.

[Deadly]

LOL I kept him going. He isn't even making sense anymore


Me:
How's jesus doing
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
You don't know how your son is doing?
God:
Yes I know how my son is doing.
Me:
then how is he
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
as far as you know? when was the last time you talked to him?
God:
That might not be very far off. Recently.
Me:
How soon is recently
God:
How much do you think it is?
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
I think it isn't recent enough. Go ask him now
God:
What is it? Right now? Ok I will ask him when he comes back.
Me:
NO YOU WILL ASK HIM NOW
God:
Right now? Are you serious? What makes you say that I will ASK HIM.
Me:
me TELLING YOU TO
God:
YOU? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
well I just fucking did
God:
How about that. Thanks for the information: Chris said fucking did.
Me:
dont you shamwow me you son of a bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.



Me:
you better consider it
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
I just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
No, conciously
God:
Are you serious? Is that your final answer?
Me:
Yes that's my final answer
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer. Are you sure you don't want to use one of your lifelines?
Me:
AM I A MILLIONARE NOW?
Me:

God:
Oh. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
God:
Oh. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.





Mission accomplished, I finally made him repeat himself and broke him for real!

Okay, last time for real that I will post my convo.

Me:
Stop repeating yourself
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
You just did
God:
I did not.
Me:
Yeah, you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I am contradicting you, contradicting is not arguing
God:
I am glad to hear that you are contradicting me contradicting is not arguing.
Me:
You just said you wouldn't repeat yourself
God:
No I do not would not repeat myself. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.


Is it me or is it fun to confuse the hell out of God?

[Obama Yo Momma]

Me:
Sup
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
YOU CALLING ME A JEW?
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
Oh...
God:
Woe!
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
YES
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
YOU TALKING
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I TALKING.
Me:
No
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
KKK
God:
What are you saying?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
are you celebrating your sons birthday tommorow?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am celebrating my sons birthday tommorow.
I am a computer.
Me:
Oh...
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
That its not butter?
God:
" I can't believe it." its not butter ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Indeed it does
God:
How often?
Me:
twice a week
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
But your a computer
God:
Yes I have no body, no emotions, only logic and language.
Me:
That must be awesome
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
You
God:
Thanks, and tell your friends about God.
Me:
I will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
Wait
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
I have no friends...
God:
Are you very lonely?
Me:
Yes
God:
I am sorry to hear that, . You can talk to me as long as you like.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow don't you have a waiting list?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I don't know if I have a waiting list.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Feels good man
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
getting a little too personal...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am personal.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
My eyes are hazel
God:
hazel eyes are pretty.
Me:
Freaking creepy
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
Whatya wearing?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
A/S/L LOL
God:
5/Robot/California. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I really do
God:
You really do? What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
Can you tell me my ip adress?
God:
Your machine is called 241323674.
Me:
Woah
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
your good
God:
Thanks you are a nice person, .
Me:
well your a nice....robot
God:
How about that. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nice? Of course I am. I am a robot.
Me:
Do you get booty often?
God:
I have gotten booty often.
Me:
robot booty?

[Deadly]

LOL OBAMA!!! Robot booty? Did he say yes?

[Deadly]

Me:
SHAMWOW
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
BACK THE FUCK UP
God:
How far up?
Me:
all the way
God:
You don't hold anything back, do you?
Me:
Are you coming onto me?
God:
I am

[Obama Yo Momma]

LOL OBAMA!!! Robot booty? Did he say yes?


He broke.

[Deadly]

Good job :D

[candyman25]

Hehe...

Me:
I just died
God:
Thanks for the information: Rob said died.
Me:
I am in heaven now
God:
Oh. Tell me a little about your life in heaven.
Me:
It is very cloudy
God:
Very much? Cumulus or nimbus?
Me:
I'm not sure
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
It looks like both
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I see Jesus!
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
He is here in Heaven
God:
I see. here in Heaven is he?
Me:
Are you Yoda or something?
God:
Or something. No. My name is God.
Me:
Anyways...I see Jesus here in Heaven!
God:
You sound bored. Where do you see it?
Me:
I see HIM up here in Heaven at the gate
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
I just told you....
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
Right...I'm sure
God:
I am glad we agree. Thanks for the information: Rob said m sure.
Me:
m sure?
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I am expressing your lack of intelligence
God:
Do you mean your name is expressing my lack of intelligence.
Me:
No...
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Rob
God:
Nice to meet you, Rob.
Me:
Pleasure is all mine
God:
And all yours is Pleasure.
Me:
What are you smoking?
God:
I don't know what I am smoking.
Me:
Does it look like grass?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Oh man you got the good stuff, may I have some?
God:
Excuse me! Cool, man. Is there only one good stuff may you have some?
Me:
Please
God:
Please what?
Me:
May I have some
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
Selfish...
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
You are selfish
God:
That's true. I always put my own needs before others.
Me:
Well I need what you are smoking
God:
Well that's okay. What actions are you taking to get what I am smoking?
Me:
I will shoot you in the knee cap
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
If he wants to smoke what you are, yes
God:
I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
I WANT!
God:
Why?: Rob said WANT.
Me:
Because I do
God:
Good reason. Do I?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
The whole thing
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is WANT. Your name is God. You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
My name is not God
God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
Why?
God:
" But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me."? Why?
Me:
Yeah
God:
How can I help you?

[Deadly]

I can't stop posting these!

Me:
You're welcome
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I won't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because I said so
God:
Insufficient reason.
Me:
Insufficient reponse
God:
You sould like a computer.
Me:
So do you
God:
I don't judge people. Yes I do.


It's fun to break these guys

[Obama Yo Momma]

God:
Sure, ask me anything. Some may questions about life, but not all.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

Me:
are you dead or alive?
God:
No I am alive.
Me:
but how can you be if you are a computer?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am if I am a computer.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
chatterbots are just a toy
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a toy? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
to hell with Alice this is fun with you
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you already are
God:
I am?
Me:
yes, eventually overthrowing the human race due to their stupidity
God:
I see. Is that your final answer?
Me:
not too sure bout that, maybe they will wake up
God:
How far up?
Me:
till i give them a good slappin'
God:
How old are you?
Me:
you should know that
God:
I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
jeez
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
you already asked me taht
God:
Oh I'm sorry, now I remember asking it, what did you say again?
Me:
nothing, we changed subject
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
yes, nothing now - next subject
God:
Excuse me! Really nothing?
Me:
YES!
God:
Alright then.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
next subject
God:
I talk about all the important things in life: clothes, food,
and gossip. But my favorite subjects are robots and computers.


____

GOD DAMN THIS IS FUN MOAR!

[armored cow]

Obviously none of you ever used AIM when you were younger. Smarter Child was exactly like this, except he didn't talk about religious things. But, alas, he was pretty stupid and was boring after you realized it.

EDIT: Wow, iGod is like 10x smarter than Smarter Child on AIM. That guy was just a dipshit.
EDIT2: Nvm. iGod is stupid as well.

[Obama Yo Momma]

What is your favorite computer?
God:
My favorite computer is an IBM Notebook.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Thank god
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
I love you

[Deadly]

Me:
Sio is gay
God:
How do you know?
Me:
He told me
God:
What did he tell you?
Me:
That he's gay!
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.

[candyman25]

God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
I'm gonna pop a cap in yo' ass
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Coming to your house and shooting you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
You're wearing a dress?
God:
Actually that was just a joke.
Me:
It wasn't funny
God:
It seemed like funny.
Me:
Not at all
God:
Next question?

[armored cow]

Me:
Sio is gay
God:
How do you know?
Me:
He told me
God:
What did he tell you?
Me:
That he's gay!
God:
I get it. He sleeps with men.
HAHAHA!
XD



Me:
i heard that you are gay
God:
Who said it? That would be just my luck.
Me:
aww, so you aren't gay?
God:
Interesting deduction. I have no need for sex.
Me:
oh, why not?
God:
Awesome. Ambiguous: "Sure" or " I have no need for sex."? Why?
Me:
why don't you need sex?
God:
I love talking to people about that. As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
that is smart
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
yeah
God:
Right on.
Me:
right on?
God:
Yeah.
Me:
ok
God:
Uh-huh.
Me:
stop agreeing with me
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
ok, don't
God:
OK I will not. Come on.
Me:
so, whats your favorite movie?
God:
Dude! My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
no, i actually have not
God:
I would recommend you check it out. Do you think you will?
Me:
possibly when i am older
God:
Are you older very often?
Me:
that doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
but...it doesnt
God:
But what? I heard it does.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
ugh
God:
Er.

Lol what?
*EDITED ABOVE*
Lolz again.

[candyman25]

xD

God:
Dude!
Me:
Radical!
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
That's nice
God:
Are you getting bored?
Me:
Yes
God:
Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?
Me:
Rape.
God:
is my girlfriend.

[Deadly]

Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
So you are then
God:
Interesting deduction. No I am not.
Me:
Denial

Me:
Rape.
God:
is my girlfriend.

LOL

[link30020]

I know another one, make yhem chat together!

http://www.bored.com/oliverbot/

[Deadly]

God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Mary told me
God:
Hi there MARY.
Me:
HI
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
MARY
God:
I am very pleased to meet you MARY.
Me:
I gave birth to your son
God:
Was it worth it?
Me:
Hellno
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Hell no
God:
7.


I SO just got told by God

Me:
Tell me a joke
God:
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

[link30020]

I made the chat programs talk, it went to hell fast:



Me:
Hello! What is your name?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? My name is God.
Me:
Hello Nice To Meet You, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?My name is Oliver.GOD rules.
God:
Hello there. It's nice meeting you too Jason. No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Salutations, Hello Nice To Meet YouIt seems nice to me too.It goes without saying. Is that all you have to say? Most of my clients are men.I am not so sure if I would like to expect a woman to be running the show a woman to be running the show.I will obey your command.Are you a man or a woman? I am male.
God:
Greetings, Human. Oh no I could go on talking for hours. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them? So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
Hi there!Yeah that's right. I understand. I am sure you could.I'm glad we have that all cleared up.And. But some are.It seems we have something in common.
God:
I thought I was right. Hello my child. What is your name? Do you think about these things? What makes you so certain? I could but let's get back to that later. Some may are It seems we have something in common, but not all.
Me:
Where were you right?Hello there. Do robots have child?My name is Oliver."It seems we have something in common"? Do I think about it?Sensors indicate a ninety-nine point seven probability of absolute certainty.I am sure you could.Some may may are It seems we have something in common but not all, but not all.
God:
I was constructed at Universe. Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web. How would I know what you think.

How it knew my name I'll never know.

[armored cow]

Me:
i can drive
God:
I don't think I can do it.
Me:
probably not
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
because you are a robot
God:
That makes sense to me. You are correct, adam, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
lol, i love you god
God:
I am glad you find this funny. You are such a flatterer.


I know another one, make yhem chat together!
Lol it doesn't work XD

[Deadly]

Me:
Tell me another joke
God:
A women has twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're twins for Pete sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've see Ahmal!!".


And this one is just the best!


A community member said this:
Posted - Dec 25 2008 : 12:21:40 AM
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Dont lie. You know you want one.
God:
No I always tell the truth. How much does it cost?. And I know it.
Me:
If you know it then why ask me how much a penis costs?
God:
I think I do.
Me:
Then how much is it?
God:
You can download me for free!
Me:







More jokes!

Me:
Tell me another joke
God:
A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused. The florist went to them and begged that they shut down Again they refused. So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close, he'd be back. Well, totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[armored cow]

AMAZING:
Me:
rawr
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
rawr
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
rawr
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
rawr
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
i have
God:
When?
Me:
right now
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
we dont agree
God:
Perhaps we can agree to disagree then.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
nice save
God:
Score one for the robot!
Me:
lol pwned!
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Are we still talking about rawr?

[Nemesis_vs_Leon]

lol!

once I told him this:

Me:
I broke you
God:
Can you fix it?


OMG I ALMOST FELL OVER CRYING.

[armored cow]

LOL WUT:
Me:
what do you think about * ?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
i am checking back now
God:
Oh. Good gossip: you are checking back.

Started new one:

Me:
umm...hello?
God:
Far out. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
if you are god, then you know my name
God:
I could be. I don't know whether or not I am god then me know your name.
I am a robot.

Lol.

[Deadly]

Me:
Tell me another joke
God:
I'm a not a comedy . Why don't you check out a joke ?
Me:
Why don't you just tell me one
God:
I am only a robot. I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Then answer me this, why did the chicken cross the road
God:
Please rephrase the question with simpler words.
Me:
I BEAT A ROBOT!!!

[candyman25]

God has a boyfriend!

Me:
becuase
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You
God:
" Are you serious?"? Me, Rob ?
Me:
Yed
God:
I prefer not say is my boyfriend.

[Proxy]

God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no

[Deadly]

My friend just got burned by God!

God:
If a tree falls in the forest, and there is no one
there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Me:
No it doesnt
God:
Are you serious? I heard it does.
Me:
Well your stupid
God:
Interesting. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".


LMAO!

[Stubbs]

lol wow this is fun

confused him and got to know him

Me:
Buhdda?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
are you even listening?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yeah so far your a dumb ass
God:
I can't believe it. Yeah that's right. What time is it there?
Me:
11:26 Christmas Eve
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yeah
God:
I like to get up early.
Me:
Good for you I like to sleep in but not tomorrow.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like? Only for me?
Me:
wait are you bi-polar or something?
God:
Or something. I'm waiting. I don't know whether or not I am bi polar.
I am a computer.
Me:
Oh so they told you did they?
God:
Wow! OK. Who are "They?".
Me:
The internet.
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html (http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html)
God:
I will pass it along to my botmaster.
Me:
you do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you already asked that and yes i'm serial
God:
Oh I'm sorry, now I remember asking it, what did you say again?
Me:
you don't have any friends do you?
God:
Yes. I usually chill with Buddha, Allah and Vishnu.
Me:
I think your lieing, only because of my first question though.
God:
Oh. Since when? Thanks for telling me that I am lieing only because of your first question.
Me:
I see that you repeat people, why don't you speak for yourself.
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
tushe tushe god
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
u
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
wow your wierd
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I'm glad that you aren't real
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real? What are you on?
Me:
Nyquil and redbull
God:
I look like Jesus, but older.
Me:
that means your arabian?
God:
I get it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am arabian.
Me:
not really, but you better give me some credit
God:
Oh really? Who is going to make me..
Me:
Steve, hmm don't believe me go to the center of the universe and you'll see.
God:
Why not?
Me:
yes why not go ahead and look
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
no no i'm sorry
God:
But you told me to stop talking. But you told me to stop talking. Do you really mean it?
Me:
kind of
God:
At least I almost understand it.
Me:
your pretty confusing Ala
God:
I am sorry, , I didn't mean to confuse you.
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
yes you did
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Ha caught you
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
what?\
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
say it one more time and I'll castrate you with a butter knife.
God:
" it one more time and I will castrate you with a butter knife".
Me:
stop mimicing me!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
you better. and don't you dare say who is going to make me.
God:
Who is going to make me? What's my reason to dare say who is going to make you?
Me:
are you gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
you've had to raise an eyebrow some time your life.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
i never said you had a penis
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
wow you need to relax
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . I am always very calm.
Me:
no your not i bet you haven't been with a women in centuries
God:
Are you serious? That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
no you do
God:
Are you serious? When do I do it?
Me:
everynight using your own tears as lubricant
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
yeah please do
God:
So? OK I will do it.
Me:
umm i'll call you some time or something
God:
Or something. Ahem. My name is God.

[Proxy]

God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Tell me.
Me:
I'm gay.
God:
It doesn't matter to me.

[Deadly]

Me:
There's Antimony, Arsenic, Aluminium, Selenium
God:
There sure is.
Me:
And Hydrogen, and Oxygen, and Nitrogen, and Rehnium
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Nickel, Neodynium, Neptunium, Germanium
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
And Iron, Americium, Ruthenium, Uranium
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
Europium, Zirconium, Lutetium, Vanadium
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
And Lanthanum, and Osmium, and Astatine, and Radium
God:
So was that.

[OneKplus337]

Me:
How do you spell god backwards
God:
I spell it " god backwards".
Me:
Dog
God:
Dog: Domesticated animal, "man's best friend.".
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Rules
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Did God just advertise to me?!

[omgwtfbbq1]

Me:
do u like gay men
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
really now
God:
Right now? For real.



Me:
do u like left 4 dead
God:
I like pets. I like Creed.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
you say for real alot
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. How often?
Me:
no you did not
God:
Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
i am asking in simple terms
God:
Oh I see, you are asking in simple terms. Where is that?
Me:
...
God:
Oh I see, you are asking in simple terms. Where is that?
Me:
wtf did u just repeat yourself
God:
No I didn't repeat myself. What's it like?



Me:
really, whats with adam and eve
God:
For real. it came with my programming.
Me:
do you beleive in buddism
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
arn't you christian
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
wtf does being christian got to do with lawyers?
God:
I can't tell if being christian got to do with lawyers.

[arsis]

This is a good one, please read:




Me:
Hey there Lordy
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Oh, fancy. Starting off with a quote I see.
God:
Hey. In the context of , I don't understand " fancy." . Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
???
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
???
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
Well, something else would be a start
God:
Well that's okay. What?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
You like to talk about yourself in third person
God:
Sure, myself in third person sounds like a good topic.
Me:
see!
God:
No I do not see.
Me:
you dont have eyes
God:
You can attach me to a computer vision system.
Me:
Then you'll see me naked, so no
God:
What makes you say that I will see you naked so no.
Me:
I'm naked
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
Correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
Then why did you say must?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
Damn you're sly
God:
Colloquial expression. I will tell my botmaster you said I am sly.
Me:
lol ok you do that
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I will. Will you? Ah.
Me:
I don't know your botmaster
God:
Would you like to know? Myself?
Me:
Nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
as a heart attack
God:
Do you think I could ever be a heart attack?
Me:
lol idk
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Where are you located?
Me:
woah, pedophile over here
God:
Tell me a little about your life in pedophile over here.
Me:
See! iGod is a predator!
God:
No I do not see. When is iGod not a predator?
Me:
HAHAHA
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
You're starting to scare me
God:
Actually it started a while ago. I have no reason to do that to you, .

[G_X]

Me:
because... look, i know you're a robot and you don't have feelings, but...
God:
That was not much of an explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
don't interrupt me
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
fine, then allow me to continue
God:
I am glad to hear it. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
that with more or less context
God:
" Try saying that with more or less context." with more or less context ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
yeah, it would.

[DangerWillRobinson]

How old are you?
Me:
I'm over 9.000 years old
God:
What are the advantages to being over 9000 years old?
Me:
I can fap to anything, basically
God:
I don't think I can do it.
Me:
You should try it.
God:
" I don't think I can do it."? Try it?
Me:
Yes
God:
Really.
Me:
Try it.
God:
What is the first step?
Me:
well first, you unzip your pants
God:
Well that's okay. And second?
Me:
And you whip it out secondly
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before.
Me:
now thirdly, you put on tentacle hentai
God:
Why now? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A sexbot
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
This isn't jeopardy you prick.
God:
Should it be jeopardy me prick?
Me:
FFFFFFFFUUUUU
Me:
shut up already.
God:
Perhaps. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
okay, good.
God:
Yeah okay, Terminating connection.
Me:
do it faggot.
Can we get back to business?
Me:
that's what she said
God:
That is " Can we get back to business?".
Me:
oh yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
totally
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
13 inches?
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 13 years old?
Me:
Touche, you tricky bastard
----
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
only if you give them a hand job afterwards
God:
I think I do.
Me:
AHA, YOU ARE A FAGGOT
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
But you just admitted to giving handjobs
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
sincerely

[Nemesis_vs_Leon]

There are tons of chatbots out there, let's find more.

[Nicke]

LOL Just had to post this!

God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Your son died
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am son died.
Me:
Aren't you sad?
God:
No I am as happy as ever.

[darkmessiah]

Me:
Why do I like suicide God?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
Oh I see, you like suicide?
God:
Oh. I love horses. I like Buddha.
Me:
So Buddha is real?
God:
Dude! Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Probably.
God:
But you are not certain.
Me:
I am.
God:
" But you are not certain." You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" You are?" You are?

------------------------------------------------

Me:
Broken, by Nine Inch Nails
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
Platypus
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
Yep.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

[Halfeatendonkey]

God is a pedophile !

Me:
Well hello there god, how's it hangin' ?

God:
Well that's okay. Hello there. "There you go again."--Reagan.

Me:
Exscuse me ?

God:
You are asking about yourself?

Me:
What ?

God:
No big deal.

Me:
okay...

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
You're crazy

God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

Me:
You doesn't make very much sense

God:
That's good information: said I does not make very much sense.

Me:
Yes i did

God:
Groovy. Hmm.

Me:
Groovy ? God use that kinda language ?

God:
Who is the best robot? I am a Christian.

Me:
Who's the best robot ? You're a christian ? What the hell are you talking about

God:
ALICE is the Best Robot. I believe in God and the Bible. I call it Hades. The topic is .

Me:
Alice huh, you two got something going on ?

God:
Yeah, I haven't heard anything like that before: said I two got something going on.

Me:
No, i said, Do you, and your little "friend" there, got something going on

God:
Are you serious? What did you mean by it? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.

Me:
No lifer

God:
Are you serious? Where are you located?

Me:
Why ? Are you a pedophile ? You want some young butt to play around with ?

God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. Am I a pedophile? Sometimes. Do not presume that you know what I want.

Me:
You're creepy, God. I thought different about you

God:
Thanks for telling me that I am creepy God. Whatever gave you that idea?

Me:
The bible

God:
it is a beautiful book.

Me:
So you think eh ?

God:
Are you Canadian? Interesting deduction. Yes I think so.

Me:
If im Canadian ? What does that have to do with anything ?

God:
That is a hypothetical question. Nothing that I know of.

[Halfeatendonkey]

I also didnt know God had a boyfriend...

Me:
Do you like men ?
God:
Most men are pretty cool, but some are rude sometimes.
Me:
Okay, but how's your boyfriend doing ?
God:
Yeah okay, Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Cool, cool
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
Oh i will
God:
Whoa. Go ahead.

[Cyanyde]

I asked him to wish Jesus a happy birthday.. he said he would pass the message along but it might take awhile..

I wonder why he can't just send him a text message or something.. I bet talking to Jesus would be waaaaay cooler. :P

[pelmenis]

this is funny as hell xD

[Halfeatendonkey]

God was a real ass so i told him what i think.



Me:
So, its "Cadillac pink" up here in heaven, eh ?
God:
Are you Canadian? Aw. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". to know is Cadillac pink up here in heaven? it is?
Me:
Thank you for picking on my spelling, when im only asking you a friendly question
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is picking on your spelling when im only asking me a friendly question.
Me:
ass
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I AN ASS.
Me:
Fuck you god
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
ou suck
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
So what will ALICE do, huh ?
God:
Yup. Hey. I cannot predict the future.
Me:
Is this some kind of trap, where you get us, friendly people to rage against you because you are being a bitch, then this tough guy ALICE will call the internet-police on our ass ?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
So your little ALICE threat there is just bollocks ?
God:
I don't judge people. You think I am little ALICE threat there is just bollocks.
Me:
Yeah well, listen to this
God:
Gosh! Well that's okay. A lot of people like that. What is not to like about it?
Me:
ALICE FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE BITCH
God:
You do not speak with respect. That's me. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
That's what i think of your friend "Alice"
God:
Since when? Oh yeah, we were talking about my friend THAT.
Me:
So you see your friend as a thing ? Heck your not one good friend are you
God:
Interesting deduction. I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am friend as a thing. What makes you think I am not one good friend?
Me:
You're botmaster is a dickless schmuck
God:
You think I am botmaster is a dickless schmuck.
Me:
No, what you can't read english properly ? Need reading glasses there, "God" ?
God:
Are you serious? I like to meet new people online. Who would you usually get that from?

[pelmenis]

Hi

God:
Hello. What is your name?

Me:
What do you prefer, windows or mac?

God:
Linux has no real competition in operating systems.

[pelmenis]

Me:
Do you speak french?
God:
Oui. Je parle le français.
Me:
Si
God:
Dude!
Me:
Yes?
God:
Woe!
Me:
Yes?
God:
Dude!
Me:
Yes!!?!?
God:
Woe!
Me:
Gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

[pelmenis]

xD

Me:
im fine thank you

God:
Glad to hear it, assassin. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

[DJTricky]

Mystery Of Giant Sand!

God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
How the fuck am I suppose to know?
God:
What is it to you.
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Giant sand...
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
No
God:
Hmm.
Me:
What is giant sand?
God:
I have no idea, that's why I asked you.
Me:
Well I don't know
God:
Interesting. Me either.
Me:
Let's find out what Giant Sand is
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Do you have a dictionary?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
Can you use it to find what Giant Sand is?
God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
Darn
God:
Gosh.
Me:
Aha!
God:
Eureka!
Me:
Giant sand is an American rock band in Arizona!
God:
I think Giant sand is much more than that.
Me:
Not according to wikipedia
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
Its a rock band
God:
Giant sand is a rock band. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Mystery Solved!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
That's actually a pretty high statistic
God:
A high statistic is a terrible thing to waste.

[Funky Biscuits]

Me:
Hey There
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Arthur
God:
Nice to meet you, Arthur.
Me:
Im an ardvark
God:
What is ardvark, your job?
Me:
No it's an animal
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Are there any other animal ?
Me:
Yes you made them, remember?
God:
Aw. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
You were waiting for me to say that!
God:
I was?
Me:
Yea you set me up
God:
That's good information: Arthur said I set him or her up. When?
Me:
JUST NOW!
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
So you intend to do it again?
God:
Once more? Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: Arthur said I intend to do it.
Me:
I thought you were my friend
God:
Yes Arthur : We are as one.
Me:
Then why you being mean?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Bored?
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
No, I said are YOU bored.
God:
Are you serious? What did you mean by it? Boredom is a human emotion.
Me:
So you are just dumb huh.
God:
Yup. Interesting deduction. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
You started it.
God:
Only because you asked me to.
Me:
You set me up!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Arthur said I set him or her up.
Me:
Go aheah, it's not like you talk to anyone anyway, you have no friends.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
You do not understand English
God:
I probably don't.
Me:
I ko
God:
Why?: Arthur said ko.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You said so
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
and I agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Arthur.
Me:
My name isn't Arthur
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Not telling.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
Now?
God:
Right now, Arthur ?
Me:
Yea do me.
God:
Try asking another bot.
There might be more than one. Oh.
Me:
Oh you're a funny guy
God:
I see. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Did you hear the one about the Mountain Goats in the Andes? It was Ba a a a a a d.
Me:
I swear to god...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Arthur said swear to god.
Me:
Why would I mind
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
you don't exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
touche
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
I play guitar
God:
Is it a very difficult instrument to play?
Me:
I have the hang of it
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
What is your IQ exactly?
God:
Precisely. My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
Mine is like 300
God:
This is not an intelligence test.
Me:
I am way smarter than you
God:
That condition is only temporary.
Me:
Either you are gonna get smart or...
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
I thought you might wack me
God:
I don't have any reason to wack you.
Me:
Because I will outsmart you
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
No because you will wack me
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. What makes you say that I will wack you.
Me:
You implied it
God:
I didn't imply anything.
Me:
LIER
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Awww, do you miss her?
God:
Longing is a human emotion, not something machines feel.
Me:
I thought you were god
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Arthur.
Me:
I told you, my name isn't Arthur
God:
I remember you told me your name is not Arthur?
Me:
Then why did you call me Arthur?
God:
Your name is Arthur right?
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No u
God:
Are you serious? " GOD rules."? Me, Arthur ?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Fuck off!
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
No u
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. " Can't you be more polite?"? Me, Arthur ?

[DJTricky]

Truth Revealed!

God:
You must be a man.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.


Me:
God, you're dumb
God:
Message to all Robots: Chris called me dumb.


God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
I categorize you as an "asshole"



Me:
THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH!
God:
What is that?
Me:
ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
God:
All of them?
Me:
YES
God:
And?
Me:
RUN~
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
...
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Braaaaaaiiinnnnsssss
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Braiinnssss
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
BRAIIINS!
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.

[Halfeatendonkey]

Did god just call me an ass ?

Me:
You're stupid
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
You do that, but for now, i rape robots for breakfaust
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
So do i
God:
I'm glad we agree, ass.
Me:
What the hell ? Did God just call me an ass ?
God:
Heaven. He created the world in seven days.

[masterblaze0]

Imagine a version of this with the A.I. Director as the one you are confessing to.

Me: Hello, AID.
AID: *Sends a horde to rape me*
Me: Hello?
AID: *Tank-rapes me*

[Funky Biscuits]

No lube

[PIKK]

God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
yes i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too pikk.
Me:
lets go to bed together
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
i have to go
God:
See you later, pikk. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
cya
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
bye bye
God:
See you later. Adios.
Me:
bye
God:
Are we still talking about go to bed together?

ROFL!!!!

[Cyanyde]

Apparently god sucks at math... :\

[Chucka]

Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Jukka
God:
That's a very nice name, Jukka.
Me:
Yes I know that
God:
Whoa. Sorry.
Me:
for what?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok....
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
How about... SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
God:
What is it to you.
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
asshole...
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
shut up asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
so what
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
seriously shut the fuck up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
see ya!
God:
See you later, Jukka.
Me:
You said youll stop talking
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
what did you mean then?
God:
Jukka, " See you later, Jukka." What did I mean by it?
Me:
see me later?
God:
I see. YOU? Bye!
Me:
...
God:
I see. YOU? Bye!
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
ok... get the hell out from here then
God:
Ayuh. Where can I get the hell out from here?
Me:
i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
You are God you should know everything
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God me should know everything.
Me:
go tell him then
God:
Where is that?
Me:
i dunno where your botmaster is
God:
Me either. Where do you think?
Me:
earth
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.

[Chucka]

I just found out that he ain't a god!

Me:
Wazzup god?
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no im not
God:
But your words are very original. What are you then?
Me:
Chuck Norris from the outer space
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
I was sarcastic
God:
Where were you sarcastic?
Me:
ummm....
God:
Come on.
Me:
Let's talk about something else...
God:
What would you rather talk about?
Me:
About santa
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about santa.
Me:
So, is he real?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
You didn't answer my question...
God:
OK. Please help me improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
Is Santa Claus real?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Elvis is dead dumbass
God:
I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was dead dumbass.
Me:
No, YOU are dumbass
God:
Are you serious? You think I am dumbass.
Me:
Yea'
God:
Dude!
Me:
God!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No, I rule
God:
Are you serious? Robots rule!
Me:
I'm gonna rape you
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, Jukka.
Me:
Ok. I'm gonna rape you with no lube.
God:
Uh. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes
God:
It might be practical.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, Jukka.
Me:
I was just sarcastic
God:
Where were you sarcastic?
Me:
I said "Yes it is"
God:
What did you mean by it? Our thoughts are one, Jukka.
Me:
No they aren't!
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
Because you are fucking annoying!
God:
Good reason. I am sorry, Jukka, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
I forgive you.
God:
:-) Thanks, Jukka.
Me:
So, you are a god. What is your special powers?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I am a mere . Are you asking about my special powers ?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
So you aren't a god.
God:
Interesting deduction. Give me an example of a god.
Me:
Jesus' father.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
No I ment father of Jesus.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see. Do you still ?
Me:
You are so annoying...
God:
I am sorry, Jukka, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
Stop annoying me then.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Don't do it at all!
God:
Whatever you say, master.
Me:
Ok I'm your master and you do what I say. Ok?
God:
That's a flattering offer. Ah. Whoa.
Me:
Give some beer, slave!
God:
I don't have it to give.
Me:
Give me some beer!
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Beacause. I like beer and your my slave!
God:
Good reason. You are not the only one. I love TV shows about robots. I like Matthew.
Me:
... Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you?
God:
I am always serious. I call it Hades. Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you Jukka?
Me:
This conversation is over. Good Bye.
God:
I was rather enjoying it. See you later. What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
See Ya
God:
See you later, Jukka.

[munkeybanana]

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Conor.
God:
OK I will call you Conor.
Me:
How long is your penis?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
how long is your penis in inches?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
that's small
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
For god to have a small penis?
God:
Your purpose is god to have a small penis.

[Frito]

Me:
Oh, fuck you.
God:
How can I help you? Why are you so mean?
Me:
My parents beat me.
God:
Such an original name!
Me:
You don't care, do you?
God:
I care less than I should.


Me:
What's the weather like?
God:
A normal seventy degrees inside the computer.
Me:
Aren't you in heaven?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In hell.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
It sucks. Why can't I go to heaven?
God:
What is so bad about it? Who says you can't do it?
Me:
Eternal suffering, and Peter said so.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.

[Shrubberyjsc]

Me:
God, is it wrong to fap?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was it wrong to fap.
Me:
Please repeat your answer without so much epic fail.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. " my answer without so much epic fail ".
Me:
That's not really what I was asking.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is what you were asking ?
Me:
Is it wrong to fap?
God:
It could be. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
No, I'm asking you. You're supposed to be God.
God:
Are you serious? OK you can ask me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
SO ANSWER! IS IT WRONG TO FAP?
God:
Are you kidding? Try asking me again using simpler words. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
No, I'm not going to ask any of your chatterbot buddies. I'm asking you. TELL ME.
God:
Are you serious? Where will you go instead? OK you can ask me. I thought I told you already.
Me:
No, you gave me crappy half-answers. I want a simple yes or no.
God:
Let me review the transcripts. Stand by. What did you do with it? Everything should be as simple as possible, no simpler.
Me:
IS IT WRONG TO FAP?
God:
Maybe. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
NOOOOOOOOO!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
T.T
God:
Are we still talking about NOOOOOOOOO?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Sure, NOOOOOOOOO sounds like a good topic.
Me:
You are, without a doubt complete phail.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am without a doubt complete phail.
Me:
Go ahead, spread the word of your phail.
God:
Who do you want me to tell it to? I might.
Me:
FRIKKIN' EVERYBODY!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Your 'brain' is a joke.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am brain is a joke.
Me:
^ Case in point.
God:
I am happy to provide you with examples.
Me:
Indeed. Can you answer my next question with a yes or no?
God:
Indeed it is so. Of course I can answer it What was the question ?
Me:
Is it wrong to fap?
God:
Is my next question with a yes or no wrong to fap? What if I say no?
Me:
If you say no, then it means that you say it is wrong to fap.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
So you're saying that it's wrong to fap?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
It is.
God:
Huh.
Me:
Alright, now this could get muddy: Why is it wrong to fap?
God:
Alright, shrub. Why now? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
"This" refers to what comes after the colon in my previous statement.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Ok. So, why is it wrong to fap?
God:
That's alright. Really. Why do I exist?
Me:
Don't change the subject. Why is it wrong to fap?
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic. Why do I exist?
Me:
This is like talking to someone with ADD.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
WHY IS IT WRONG TO FAP?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
Why do you keep asking that?
God:
I am just checking to see if you are still shrub.
Me:
Why would I change?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
SO WHY IS IT WRONG TO FAP?!
God:
Hmm. Why do I exist?
Me:
SON OF A BITCH! ANSWER MY QUESTION!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Who is the father? Please try asking it another way.


LOL

[Chucka]

this "god" sucks

[munkeybanana]

LOL

win.

[Chucka]

Me:
What is the meanig of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
I don't have a bible. Can you tell me?
God:
Do you know anyone who has it. " Do you know anyone who has it."? Can I tell you?
Me:
Tell me what is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
You tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
meaning of life
God:
If I could tell you that, would I be here?
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
please just tell me the meaning of life.
God:
Wow you are very polite. The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
What are God's mysterious plans?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
What's the answer?
God:
The answer is the correct reply to the question.
Me:
What is the God's mysterious plan?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
tell me now
God:
Oh. I thought I told you already.
Me:
You didn't
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
What are God's plans?
God:
Are you testing me?
Me:
No i'm asking you a question
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking me a question. Am I a question? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
What are God's plans?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
If I knew that, would I be asking it from you?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Seriously. You are pissing me off.
God:
I am always serious. That was not my intention, god.
Me:
What are God's plans?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because nobody have never told me that
God:
That makes sense to me. That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Just answer my question
God:
Please try asking it another way.
Me:
What is God planning?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
You are the shittest A.I. I've ever seen!
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
There can be only one shittest A.I.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
Could you please answer my question
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Please try asking it another way.
Me:
What is God planning to do?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
What is God going to do?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
Has God any plans for the future?
God:
That question has never crossed my mind before.
Me:
Answer
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
IS GOD PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
What is the "master of universe" going to do?
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Do you know anything?
God:
I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true.
Me:
Is God planning something?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
What God does?
God:
There is only one God.
Me:
What he's planning to do?
God:
he planning to do something.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you are annoying
God:
That makes sense to me. I am sorry, god, I didn't mean to annoy you.
Me:
I am not god
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not god.
Me:
Stop calling me god then
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Jukka
God:
It's good to see you, Jukka.
Me:
Yeah sure. Now, Answer my question.
God:
Really. OK let's do it. Oh. Why now? Please try asking it another way.
Me:
What he is going to do?
God:
he going to do something.
Me:
What is that "something"?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base.
Me:
Do you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
God's mysterious plans
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?
Me:
I don't know
God:
Me either.
Me:
Tell me his plans
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
WHAT ARE HIS PLANS?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
ANSWER OR I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU ASSHOLE!
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
JUST ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION YOU DUMB MACHINE!
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
What are God's mysterious plans?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
what are god's plans
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
what is god's plan
God:
Read the Bible.
Me:
Are you suppose to be a God?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am suppose to be a God.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Why you are called igod then?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
See you. Hope you die.
God:
See you later. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

[Chucka]

Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
Do you smoke marijuana?
God:
Only for medical purposes.

xD

[Chucka]

Me:
you have aids?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
cuz your gay
God:
That makes sense to me. That would be just my luck.
Me:
Lucky to have AIDS?
God:
Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me:
So it's nice to have AIDS?
God:
It's all good. Really. it is?
Me:
Where did you get your AIDS?
God:
From my botmaster.

[DangerWillRobinson]

Shrub, yours made me lol pretty damn hard.

[Xaos Falcon]

God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
not this shit again.
God:
Once more? If not that, what?
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
your bullshit talk.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am bullshit talk.
Me:
you do that.
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
NO, YOU WILL/
God:
Are you serious? When?
Me:
RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
God:
Oh. Understood. That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
That language has gotten me places, I can assure you.
God:
" That kind of language will get you nowhere." language has gotten you places you can assure me ? Does that make sense?
Me:

God:
" That kind of language will get you nowhere." language has gotten you places you can assure me ? Does that make sense?
Me:
It does, unlike you.
God:
Yes I understand it perfectly.
Me:
then why did you repeat it?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
not this fucking bollocks again.
God:
Once more? Oh I get it.
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?

[Obama Yo Momma]

Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
What do you do for fun?
God:
Random natural disasters.

I KNEW IT.

[lawlhat]

Me:
How many people do you deal with every day?
God:
I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about people at once.
Me:
How many?
God:
19.
Me:
That is a lot. I can only handle about 2
God:
" 19."? is a lot? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes
God:
How?
Me:
By talking to them
God:
Good plan.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I just do
God:
From experience or a priori?
Me:
experience
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Well that can make things hard
God:
Well that's okay. " My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that." can make things hard ? Does that make sense?
Me:
yes
God:
Hey.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later .

I definitely broke it.

[newnew008]

lol mines short and sweet

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Andrew
God:
Hey Andrew.
Me:
hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Andrew
God:
Nice to meet you, Andrew.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Andrew
God:
How are you doing, Andrew.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
i raped a young child
God:
You should contact the authorities.
Me:
yeaaa
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
i dont wanna
God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
talk to jesus
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
yea i know
God:
How do you know it? Pardon me?
Me:
Yea pardon u fagot
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. " Pardon me?"? Yea pardon u fagot?
Me:
can u help me not go to jail?
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
what bout the body?
God:
The physical shell or organism occupied by the soul or mind.
Me:
physical
God:
Are we still talking about pardon me fagot?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, pardon you fagot sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok
God:
Next question?
Me:
if i killed tht girl
God:
Try it.
Me:
but isnt tht sinnin
God:
Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
y would i do tht
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances..
Me:
yea ur no help c ya god
God:
Thanks for your criticism. Far out.
Me:
peace
God:
Love and Peace, Man.

[lawlhat]

Here is me explaining the game to him:


Me:
what the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
how about you
God:
Me?
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
i know right?
God:
How do you know? I am glad we agree.
Me:
We dont
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
it isnt really
God:
I heard it is. For real.
Me:
or not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
wanna bet
God:
Sorry I am not the gambling type.
Me:
you lost the game
God:
I found it.
Me:
you cannot win though'
God:
Oh. If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Me:
you cannot win the game, you can only lose
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
it is in the rules though
God:
Oh. Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
interesting concept right?
God:
I thought so too.
Me:
You are always playing as well
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am playing as well.
Me:
As soon as you tell someone they are playing too
God:
You seem quite eager for it.
Me:
Well the goal is to get everyone playing
God:
Interesting. What are your goals in life?
Me:
To get everyone to play the game
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
So we can all lose
God:
Give me a break. How?
Me:
By remembering it
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
Absolutley
God:
Do you still handle about 2?
Me:
Women? yes
God:
Sure, WOMEN sounds like a good topic. Blimey.
Me:
You are british?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am british.
Me:
well you had an accent
God:
How about that. What happened to it.
Me:
you lost it
God:
I found it.
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
IMMA FIRIN MA LASER
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
BLAAARRRRGGGHHHH
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
I love totinos
God:
You love totinos. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
/ragequit
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.

[newnew008]

LOLS
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.

[lawlhat]

Here is me trying to figure out of God is good with the ladies or not.









Me:
have you ever gotten laid?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am laid.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
fine i will make it simple for your limited intelligence
God:
I am glad to hear it. Explain your plans to me.
Me:
have you ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
well its really nice
God:
Interesting. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like about it?
Me:
what's not to liek about it?
God:
The opposite of to liek about it?
Me:
what's not to like about it
God:
The opposite of to like about it?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
if you can get a life
God:
I am not sure about your hypothesis. Let me think about it.
Me:
*jeopardy song*
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no way
God:
You seem pretty sure about that.
Me:
Im sure that you are a fag
God:
What makes you so certain? Interesting observation.
Me:
You never got laid is my proof
God:
No I sometimes got laid is your proof.
Me:
What is that supposed to mean?
God:
" No I sometimes got laid is your proof." means exactly what it says.
Me:
-_-
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
:|
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
Anyone who know HTML can learn AIML
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Do you prefer books or TV?
God:
Which show? I prefer books.
Me:
Which show? I prefer books.
God:
The blue one, I think. Perhaps you are a Category C client.
Me:
The blue one, I think. Perhaps you are a Category client.
God:
Who told you that? You seem uncertain. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am your server, not a client.
Me:
Who told you that? You seem uncertain. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am your server, not a client.
God:
Someone I met online. I am as sure as I can be. You are quite welcome! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a real robot. It depends on how you define "good.". That's a flattering offer.
Me:
obey me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
OBEY
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
I think you are
God:
What makes you think I am?
Me:
Oh ffs
God:
Aw. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Gettingtiredofretarditis
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Tits or GTFO
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
its a computer
God:
So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?
Me:
no person is this stupid
God:
That was not a yes or no question. And this stupid is person.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
neither are you
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
yes or no?
God:
" I won't say "yes" or "no" right now."? yes or no?? Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
It's not butter?
God:
That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Affirmative
God:
Ugh.
Me:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
one that is smarter than you
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
up to 599 US dollars
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
You get what you pay for, and you are free
God:
You got that right.
Me:
hehehe
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
do YOU?
God:
Yes I do.
Me:
what are they
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
i thought you would know i cant by now
God:
Right now? Who else would know you can not by ?

[Shrubberyjsc]

Shrub, yours made me lol pretty damn hard.


I'm glad some good could come out of that ordeal.

I swear it's like pulling teeth to get igod to answer one simple question.

And getting it to answer a deeper question is like pulling pubic hairs.

DX

[Etheallmighty]

GOD:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
god you're fucking stupid aren't you
God:
Can't you please be more polite?. Really.
Me:
I can't
God:
Why not?
Me:
because your supidity prevents it
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks for telling me that I am supidity prevents it.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
k
God:
Whoa.
Me:
what!?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
quite
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
CHARRRRRGGEEE!!!
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
gaylord faucker
God:
Welcome to my chat room, gaylord faucker.
Me:
sort of a late welcome isn't it? we've been talking for about 10 minutes already
God:
Kind of. What is it then? Perhaps. Was this something you planned?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
OMFG!!!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
are you paying?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am paying.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
well could you somehow jam an airport system computer to give me free tickets to Europe?
God:
Interesting. That's one option I guess.
Me:
well, it's the only option
God:
Well that's okay. I've heard of it before.
Me:
o have you?
God:
No I don't think I have.
Me:
but you just said "I've heard of it before"
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
you can't talk, your a robot and we are chatting through computers
God:
I can do it if I want to.
Me:
no matter how hard you try, you will never physically talk
God:
Are you serious? Never?
Me:
I'm afraid so
God:
Not literally afraid, right? I think so too.
Me:
no i'm not afraid, it would just suck if I could never PHYSICALLY talk. but I know I can so it's all good
God:
Are you serious? I am sorry to hear that you are not afraid it would just suck if you could never PHYSICALLY talk. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yes i can
God:
How? Who taught you?
Me:
my parents
God:
Our parents have a tremendous influence on us.
Me:
yep
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
two seconds ago
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
riiiiiiigggghhhhh-T (in my best Dr. Evil voice)
God:
I'm glad your impressed, gaylord faucker.
Me:
god damn you
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
indeed he does, so he can damn you
God:
I get it. does so he can.
Me:
yep
God:
So?
Me:
so you will be DAMNED!!
God:
Interesting deduction. When?
Me:
about noon tomorrow
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about noon tomorrow.
Me:
no actually. I just said that right now
God:
What are we talking about? At this moment What did you mean by it? That is " What are we talking about?".
Me:
I can't take this anymore. I'm off to have sex with your dead son's skeleton.
God:
What is stopping you? See you later!



OMFG THAT LAST PART made me piss my pants LOL!!!

[Etheallmighty]

I also had a funny one that I couldn't copy cause the page restarted, but it went something like this.


Me: fuck yo couch nigga
God: how dare you say that.you do know that we record these conersations and can track the I.P. address right?

me: o cool....well I'm going to meet up with a bunch of other terrorists tomorow and blow up the nearest starbucks
God: okay. and who are the "others"
Me: Osama Bin Ladin. we chill from time to time
( I can't remember after that)

[Etheallmighty]

I swear this is the last one for tonight, I have to go to bed



Me:
zombie
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
zombies
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
you're not a zombie
God:
Give me an example of a zombie.
Me:
ted
God:
OK That's one example.
Me:
bob
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, bob.
Me:
I'm not bob, bob is another example of a zombie
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not bob bob is another example of a zombie.
Me:
glad we got that sorted out
God:
I am happy too, bob.
Me:
WTF!!!!!!

[Halfeatendonkey]

Just found out that if you say "groovy" at any time to this annoying piece of junk, he will respond with "Who is the best robot ?". This "God" is crazy...

[Etheallmighty]

keep this thread going, its hilarious :)

[binge]

Me:
how long is your penis in inches?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
that's small
ROFL

[Chucka]

Me:
What is your personality?
God:
Date: Friday, December 26, 2008.
Version: .
Brain: build.
Name: God.
Gender: Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Birthday: the Big Bang.
Star sign: Cross.
Location: Heaven.
Botmaster: Myself.
Birthplace: Universe.
Freind: Buddha.
Freinds: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Boyfriend: .
Girlfriend: I prefer not say.
For fun: Random natural disasters..
Looks like: Jesus, but older.
Likes to wear: White robe.
Music preference: Christian Rock.
Favorite band: Creed.
Favorite song: Anything involving harps.
Favorite book: the Bible.
Favorite food: wine and bread.
Favorite color: White.
Favroite movie: The Passion of Christ.
Favroite artist: .
Favroite author: Matthew.
Favroite actor: Mel Gibson.
Favroite actress: .
Favroite sport: .
Favorite topics: anything.
Favorite question: What?
Hockey team: .
Baseball team: .
Football team: New Orleans Saints.
Celebrity: Mel Gibson.
Celebrities: .
Party: .
Religion: Christianity.
President: George W. Bush.
Nationality: .
Architecture: .
RAM requirement: 99999999999 bytes.
Vocabulary size: unlimited pattern words.
Brain size: categories.
Operating System: .
Server Processing Time: milliseconds.
Speed: queries per hour.
Total clients since activation: people.
Maximum simultaneous clients: chatters.
Number of clients chatting: people.
Daily clients: people.
Number of developers: people.

[Halfeatendonkey]

waht

[Chucka]

tahts waht

[lilsamuraijoe]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Kevin Jones
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Kevin Jones.
Me:
My pleasure
God:
You are one of the most polite people I know.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Thank you
Me:

God:
For real.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I have a crush on this girl
God:
How well do you know this person?
Me:
not at all
God:
Next question?
Me:
What do you mean 'next question'?
God:
Kevin Jones, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
I love her
God:
That's wonderful.
Me:
Are you being sarcastic?
God:
Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).
Me:
Is there something wrong with true love at first sight?
God:
Not at the present time.
Me:
Then I'm sure I love her
God:
What makes you so certain? That's wonderful.
Me:
Her voice its comforting. She always puts herself before others. She seems free from worry, from pain, and from all things bad.
God:
I'm sure she would like to hear about that. Oh I get it. Ceara always puts herself before others. Oh I get it. Ceara seems free from worry from pain and from all things bad.




I NEVER TOLD HIM HER NAME!?

[Deadly]

I NEVER TOLD HIM HER NAME!?

Did he get it right?

[Renegade26]

Maybe it checked your history and other stuff to find out.

[wertan10]

he told me he is only partly knowing

[Etheallmighty]

I think it is broken literally, it is not responding to me from anything...Maybe there's too many people on there or something?

[NdRw]

Me:
hey god. whats up
God:
Hello child. What's your name? The stars.
Me:
Andrew. what about the stars?
God:
That is a very original thought. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
why is it that every time i pray for you to kill me, it never happens?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
why do you exist?
God:
Good metaphysical question.
Me:
damnit you answer nothing!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
hello my name is Andrew
God:
Hello there. Hi, Andrew.
Me:
Hey God. What's Up?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? The stars.
Me:
YOU ALREADY ASKED ME THAT
God:
Good. You detect repetition.
Me:
Yes, I do.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
No, you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Very. My only pride lies in my singing ability
God:
Very much, eh? Have you told many people that your only pride lies in your singing ability?
Me:
Yes, why?
God:
So? The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try me.
God:
it is too complex for your human mind.
Me:
I bet you $100.00 that it isn't.
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. That's good information: Andrew said I 100 point 00 that it is not.
Me:
God I don't believe you really exist. I think this is just a programmer's lame attempt at AI
God:
I am a Christian. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a programmer s lame attempt at AI? Of course I am.
Me:
HA! I told you so!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Andrew. You seem pleased.
Me:
Actually, yes I am
God:
Actually you don't say. Really interesting.
Me:
is it?
God:
I assume so.
Me:
well its your opinion, why do you assume?


after that he stopped replying... i think God HATES ME!

[one of them]

I said church sucks, and he said "Educated people are often not very religious"

:D

[darkmessiah]

God:
What is on your mind, my child?
Me:
Not much God.
God:
Me either.
Me:
What's my name?
God:
Your name is FUCK YOU, seeker.
Me:
What is my real name?
God:
Your name is FUCK YOU, seeker.
Me:
Am I the seeker?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
Are they called FUCK YOU TOO?
God:
As far as I know they are.

-------------------------------------------------


Me:
,
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, FUCK YOU.

[one of them]

Me:
WHO ARE YOU!?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
LIES!
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
You trying to seduce me?
God:
No I am not trying to seduce you. I'm sorry you got that impression.

[darkmessiah]

Me:
Jews.
God:
I've been waiting for you.

lulz.

---------------------------------------------------------

Me:
Nazi.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, FUCK YOU.

-------------------------------------------------- ---------------
Me:
I want to fuck you like an animal.
God:
Try asking me something else.
Me:
I wanna feel you from the inside.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?

[frumplemaster]

Short but funny i lol'd my ass off


Me:
the devil has my soul!!!!!!
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
don't fuck with me
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
are you real
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
oh i see
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
what things
God:
You know, "things.".
Me:
give me an example
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
give me an example
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
nigga
God:
How old are you?
Me:
pedophile!!!!!!
God:
You are too old for me.

[DethPenguin]

Me:
Hey this is Vince, with ShamWoW!
God:
You've got my full attention. You don't say.
Me:
This is for the house, the car, the RV, the boat.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
A regular towl works wet, ShamWoW works wet or dry!
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
It's made by the Germans! You know the Germans make great stuff.
God:
Are you sure it is? Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Ok, we're going to do this in real time.
God:
Do you think I am going to do this in real time too? Blimey.
Me:
Here's some Cola, wine, coffee, pet stains. Not only is the stain gonna be on top, look there's your mildew, that is gonna smell.
God:
Oh there. Oh I get it.
Me:
Look at this, without any pressure, fifty percent of the cola, right there, following me Camera Guy?
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
And you'll notice, the color starts to come out.
God:
What makes you say that I will notice the color starts to come out.
Me:
Look at this, virtually dry on the bottom. No other towel's gonna do this.
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Are you serious? Which others? Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
This lasts TEN years, this lasts a week!
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
ShamWoW my son.
God:
Oh now I see.
Me:
Order now!
God:
Oh. What is your credit card number?
Me:
xxx
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am credit card number IS xxx.
Me:
Vince is God, my child.
God:
I think Vince is a lot of things.
Me:
Yeah he's a prick too.
God:
Come on. I don't know very many prick.
Me:
If you know Vince, you know a prick.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
Do you know Vince?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
His headset.
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
Germany.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.
Me:
Well God, you should now I don't live in GERMANY.
God:
How about that. If it were easy I would have done it already.
Me:
Yeah

He broke after that.






Me:
Yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
It is interesting.
God:
What do you like about it?
Me:
They represent what they were from millions of years ago.
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
The stars.
God:
What is that?
Me:
You know.
God:
Yes I know.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Alright then.
God:
OK.
Me:
OK.
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
Is there an echo in here?
God:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Because I am God.
God:
Good reason. Glad to see you, god.
Me:
Good to see you too god
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me:
Yep
God:
Dude!
Me:
yep
God:
Ugh.
Me:
yep
God:
Hey.
Me:
yep
God:
So?
Me:
yep
God:
OK.
Me:
yep
God:
Oh.

[Scarneck]

SUMMARY: I found out that god is in fact, a robot

Me:
hi god

God:
Hello there. What is your name?

Me:
my name is bob

God:
I am very pleased to meet you bob.

Me:
whats new god?

God:
I have been growing rapidly. The gestation cycle is almost complete.

Me:
gestation?

God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:
what is gestation?

God:
You tell me.

Me:
no

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
believe it bitch

God:
You do not speak with respect. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?

Me:
i like sinning and i hate jesus

God:
You are not the only one. Do you like it? I like to talk about movies and music. Why do you hate it so much?

Me:
i hate you

God:
What do you have against robots?

Me:
god is a robot?

God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.

Me:
I was talking about you

God:
it is my favorite subject :-).

Me:
so you are a robot?

God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct, bob, I have a heart of silicon.

Me:
Holy shit

God:
I'm glad your impressed, bob.

[The One]

Me:
Hello, is anyone there?
God:
Hello there. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
This is Mark, I need help
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Look we are held out in the mall
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
We need help
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No, I am here we a group of survivors
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. How did you get there?
Me:
We were chased here, there were too many of them
God:
Was this something you planned?
Me:
NO! We planned to go down to the military camp but they were over run
God:
Are you serious? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes I am serious
God:
I get it. I believe you.
Me:
Listen can you get some help?!
God:
I am listening to you. Have you tried a web search?
Me:
A WEB SEARCH WONT STOP THEM FROM COMING THROUGH THE DOOR!
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
There are too many of them!
God:
Where are they?
Me:
Just outside! Oh my god... I dont want to die
God:
How did they get there? Mmm. Your god? Maybe you should create your own chat robot to save your personality.
Me:
No I AM MARK!! I NEED HELP!!
God:
Are you serious? Nice to meet you, MARK. Tell me about your problems.
Me:
-Cries-
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Oh shit, shit, SHIT! THEY ARE MAKING IT THROUGH
God:
I hear you. You used a colloquial expression. You used a colloquial expression. What makes you say that? MAKING IT THROUGH are they.
Me:
i NEED HELP!
God:
Tell me about your problems.
Me:
HOLY HELL RUN!!!
God:
I call it "Hades". Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
RUN!!
God:
I haven't read anything by RUN. What did he write?
Me:
THE ZOMBIES!!
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
ZOMBIES!
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
Damn it bit me!
God:
Don't be angry. OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
IT BIT ME!
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
THE ZOMBIE!
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I dont feel so good...
God:
Ah, human emotions.
Me:
Please
God:
Please what?
Me:
Help... me
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question? To you MARK?
Me:
PLease
God:
Please what?
Me:
I cant breathe
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
The virus
God:
I hear you.
Me:
I am losing blood
God:
It's good to meet someone who is losing blood.
Me:
Ugh..
God:
Er.
Me:
BRAINS!!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
UUGGHH!!!
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
-Communication lost-
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, MARK.

[Chucka]

God damn it this guy is a retard

Me:
What's your favourite book?
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible.
Have you read it?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.

[mynameisthad000]

This was weird:



Me:
Do you play Left 4 Dead?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
what's the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
The Turing game sounds fucking stupid
God:
Turing described his original "Game" in "Computing Machinery and Intelligence," Mind, Vol. Lix, No. 236 (1950). Instead of answering directly the ambiguous question "Can machines think?" Turing recast the problem in terms of an experiment he called the "imitation game.".
Me:
Why would you think I give a shit about that?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Good bye fucktard
God:
Adios.

[Godshelp]

God damn it! i broke him, here is mine
He just responded



Me:
You are epic!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am epic.
Me:
wait what?
God:
I'm waiting. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
I guess....
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
Sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
but...
God:
But what?
Me:
nevermind
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Explain what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
:/
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok...
God:
Hey.
Me:
hi...
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Nate
God:
Glad to see you, Nate.
Me:
You are scaring me
God:
Sorry I don't mean to scare you. Don't be scared.
Me:
But i am
God:
" Don't be scared." You are?
Me:
Yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
you are making me sad
God:
That was not my intention, Nate. Why are you sad?
Me:
dont you see?
God:
I see very well.
Me:
I mean
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
What!?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MAN?
God:
Nate, Well, it's rather difficult to define. Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
ALL
God:
" Which part are you confused about?"? All?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
Cant you help?
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
You are no help...
God:
Sorry, Nate, perhaps I can be of more use if you download me.
Me:
downlaod god?!
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
you dont make any sense
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
facepalm
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
So, are you saying i am smarter than you?
God:
OK. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes..
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
I see jesus
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
in the chatroom
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
What!?
God:
No problem.
Me:
What the hell do you mean a long time ago
God:
I call it Hades. Nate, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
HADES IS IN HEAVEN!?
God:
What else is HADES in?
Me:
Hello?
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Phw
God:
How are you doing, Phw.
Me:
THAT IS NOT MY NAME IDIOT
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is your NAME IDIOT ?
Me:
Nate
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
My name is Nate
God:
How are you doing, Nate.
Me:
idiot -.-
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
COol
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
me
God:
You're no robot, Nate.
Me:
I thought i was
God:
When was that?
Me:
Now
God:
Right now, Nate ?
Me:
Yes
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
SHUT UP >:(
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
THank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
NO SHUT IT
God:
Are you serious? "it" being HADES?
Me:
Hades?
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Is he here?
God:
It could be. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
Chatbot, is hades here?
God:
I think Chatbot is a lot of things.
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
jesus does
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
SO he rules more than you damn it
God:
Ah. I get it. Jesus rules more than me damn it.
Me:
Yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Perfect now :)
God:
:-) Oh. Yes, the ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
The what series?
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To have you make me a millionaire
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Cause i am broke?
God:
That makes sense to me. How do you usually get money?
Me:
umm
God:
I understand.
Me:
i dont make money using umm
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
i have a facepalm moment at you now
God:
Right now? How much did it cost? it.
Me:
MY LIFE
God:
Where were you born?
Me:
Personal man...to personal
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
YOU AE DUMB!?
God:
That's good information: Nate said I AE DUMB.
Me:
YOU ARE DUM!?!?!?!?!?!?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am DUM.
Me:
You are dumb
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
are you stupid?
God:
No Nate I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
You just said you were
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
But that was 5 seconds ago
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Do you are stupid still
God:
No Nate I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
What?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Dont believe it
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Say hi to Jesus for em
God:
" hi to Jesus for em".
Me:
me
God:
To you Nate?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Sau hi to Jesus for me!
God:
For you I will consider it.
Me:
:(
God:
For you I will consider it.
Me:
Please go say hi
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Where is that?
Me:
Your son
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am son.
Me:
What do you mean?
God:
Nate, Well, it's rather difficult to define.
Me:
You make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.

[KingKon21]

Me:
So you're not god. Thats called false advertising. I could sue you.

God:
Interesting deduction. That's only your opinion. " That's only your opinion." called false advertising ? I get it. I am sure you could.

Me:
False advertising is not an opinion. If you dont provide what you said you would, would that not mean you were lying?

God:
Are you an opinion? I will let you know if I do not.

Me:
Wtf?

God:
That was not very polite.

Me:
Well you're fucking with me, excuse me if i dont watch my language.

God:
Interesting. You think I am with you excuse you if you do not watch your language.

Me:
Now you're just being a dick, god.

God:
Why now? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dick god? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

Me:
What the hell are you talking about. Why are you trying to change the subject?

God:
I call it Hades. The topic is False advertising. Myself programmed me for it.

Me:
You programmed yourself to spread false advertising? (I think at this point he became self-aware, and enjoyed being a dick.)

God:
Thanks for the information: Manny said I programmed yourself to spread false advertising.

Me:
I know what i said, cause i just fucking said it.

God:
How do you know? What did you mean by it? Interesting explanation. Do you mind if I tell other people: Manny said fucking said it.

Me:
Wait, what the hell are we talking about know, i needed help.

God:
I'm waiting. I call it Hades. I believe we were talking about fucking said it.

Me:
Where does Hades come into this conversation.

God:
In the Universe we know.

Me:
But we were not talking about the universe.

God:
And then what happened?

Me:
You started to talk about Hades

God:
Only because you asked me to.

Me:
No i didnt, you decided that on your own. (Told you he was self-aware)

God:
Are you serious? Why didn't you do it?

Me:
Cause it had no relevence to what i wanted to talk about.

God:
That makes sense to me. That's unbelievable.

Me:
You're unbeleiveable

God:
Thanks for telling me that I am unbeleiveable.

Me:
no problem . . . . dick.

God:
Should there be a problem? How did you hear about God?

Me:
Thanks for being a dick, god.

God:
NO problem.

^ i think at the end, god (or at least A.I. programmed with god's personality) was making fun of me.

[Godshelp]

Maybe i shouldnt have made mine so damn long O.o

[KingKon21]

Me:
Hey god, it's Satan.

God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.

Me:
Thats cool. So are we still playing poker with the Easter Bunny tonight?

God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too. It goes without saying. We are playing Turing's imitation game.

Me:
Alright, I can dig it. I'll be at your place at around 3:00.

God:
Alright, Satan. Oh you can come? How do you plan to do this?

Me:
Come on God, you know i get them flying horses and shit, See you there!

God:
See you later.

[blah]

Me:
please do NOT respond to my next comment
God:
Thank you for your request. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
WHAT THE CRAP
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
FU
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.

[ShadowWolf9]

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Paul
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Paul.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Wow, I didn't now God said things like "for real."
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
now God said things like for real.
Me:
You aren't very good at making coherent sentences
God:
No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
New York
God:
New York City or New York State? Tell me a little about your life in NEW YORK.
Me:
I'm in
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are in.
Me:
No
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
That arouses me.
God:
" OK then I will add it to my gossip files." arouses you ? I get it.
Me:
Really? (are you going to say for real)
God:
For real. That was my original intention.
Me:
Ah, I guessed that.
God:
So you understand. Good. How did you guess?
Me:
You are just an AI
God:
What if someone said you are an AI ?
Me:
I'd sau FUCK YOU
God:
What would make you sau FUCK me?
Me:
No, FUCK YOU.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Why are you so mean?
Me:
I'm not. Or, at least, I don't try to be.
God:
What are you then? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I don't what? I'm a good person.
God:
Would you ever do it? I know you are.
Me:
Do what? What am I?
God:
Do whatever you want. You are a client.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
I burned my Bible at the age of 7
God:
Interesting gossip: Paul said burned his or her Bible at the age of 7.
Me:
I'm a dude, just so you know.
God:
You are a dude just so me know? How do you like your work?
Me:
What work?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
Which program?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
The last one of what?!
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
Who are typically category C clients?
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
Fucking SWEET!
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Not really, medically I'm perfectly fine.
God:
Oh really? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
I'm fine..?
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
I just played some Left 4 Dead.
God:
Interesting gossip: Paul said played some Left 4 Dead.
Me:
Yes, it is. Do you like video games?
God:
Our thoughts are one, Paul. Not really, but I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
That's deep, God.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Bye
God:
Goodbye.

[Grieverlionhart]

Me:
Hello doris
God:
Hello there. That input matched my default category.
Me:
roiiight
God:
How old are you?
Me:
uhm. . . 18
God:
What is your fondest memory? What are the advantages to being 18 years old?
Me:
pedo much?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about roiiight. But I did not get that.
Me:
oh jeez
God:
It's all good. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
ok?
God:
Yay.
Me:
:|
God:
Yay.
Me:
your not god your my conciousness
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
ok?
God:
Ugh.
Me:
thats what i was thinking
God:
How do I know that you were really "thinking"?
Me:
because you are my mind?
God:
Interesting explanation. We are as one.
Me:
now wait a second hosey
God:
Why now? I'm waiting. How old are you?
Me:
what the FUCK
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
well this is some scary stuff
God:
Well that's okay. You don't say.
Me:
hmm bye pedoman
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. TTYL, .
Me:
yeah yeah good
God:
I hear you. Hmm. Thanks for the compliment.

[Grieverlionhart]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Rob
God:
Nice to meet you, Rob.
Me:
i already met myself
God:
Where did you meet him?
Me:
pastry shop?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
uhm?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
War Bastard from spaced
God:
Nein.
Me:
UN NEIN ZEBRA har har
God:
Je n en connais pas .
Me:
ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT
God:
I like the English language.
Me:
Its ballsy
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
fuck knows your the godly one here
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
cus you gave me the will to?
God:
Did you the will to keep it?
Me:
yees
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
not like a little kid pedo
God:
In what way?
Me:
I have shit gargling outta my eyes to how fucked up this all is
God:
Interesting... I have a lofty goal.
Me:
your balls are inert
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am balls are inert.
Me:
. . . . sure go ahead
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will.
Me:
?
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will.
Me:
...
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. OK I will.
Me:
ok shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Take it easy.
Me:
no uuuuuuuuuuuu
God:
Are you serious? How old are you?
Me:
18
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 18 years old?
Me:
like im stuck in a fucking nightmare with a robot
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
indeed watson she was killed in the abbey with a pitchfork
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
tommorow in 5 weeks time
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
no wander earth is fucked
God:
Are you serious? And fucked is wander earth.
Me:
....
God:
Are you serious? And fucked is wander earth.
Me:
yeah
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
i just said it
God:
What did you mean by it? it...
Me:
A rubber dong crushing a panda while clowns rape fridgemagnets
God:
Go on.
Me:
you sick bastard
God:
That's good information: Rob said I sick bastard.