Zombie Survival Poll Story

[DangerWillRobinson]

Okay, so the "zombie YEAHH" dude just did this, but it is quite the fail, so I'll give it a shot.

I'll post the correct answers weekly, and explain the reason why you were so stupid for choosing the wrong ones as well. This is completely fictional, but some ties to L4D will be made.

Here we go-

It is October 2nd, 2009. You are a young college student in Riverside, California. You have decided to sleep in today, and miss your finals, due to a major hangover from Bill's party last night. You wake up at about 3 PM, with the sounds of air raid sirens making you cringe and reach for a bottle of aspirin.



List of survivors and dead as of Jan 27th
---
Shrubbery-dead
infest-dead as fuck
YuriTMND-surviving
frito-surviving
Funky-surviving, sadly
Girls Are Pretty-FFF dead
Dethpenguin-dead
Bill the nonchalent-alive
proxy-alive
dasciz-alive
nemesis-surviving
platypus-dead
onekplus-alive
carrionswarmjosh-dead
Steve Cloud-surviving
G_X-dead
jaws-alive
blah-dead
calco-alive
one of them-dead
---
Post your name and your vote for E-peen points, your status will be updated every week.

[Steve Cloud]

I chose 3.

Can I roll to see if anything good is on?

[Zombie YEAH]

Ehhhh lets see how it goes. Bills party Hahaha

[G_X]

I chose 2, because it's the only one that can't possibly cause a drug overdose.

[Nemesis_vs_Leon]

If you cover your head, you don't see them coming.

If you go outside, they get you before you go back in.

If you Watch TV you'll probably notice something sooner, but the TV might just distract you.


3 is most likely for survival even though it only creates a possibility.

I choose STAY INSIDE and LOOK OUT THE WINDOW to see what's happening. I don't have to go outside.

[DangerWillRobinson]

You are assuming that is what would happen, I haven't even said there are zombies yet. I may just trick you.

[Steve Cloud]

He's trying to trick-trick you! Its actually infected, not zombies!

[Zombie YEAH]

You take the aspirin -This happens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW8tE93Vx8Q&feature =related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW8tE93Vx8Q&feature=related)
You go out side to check. I pick this one
You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature =channel_page (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4&feature=channel_page)
When you watch T.V. you start eating the pills like candy and O.D.

He tricked tricked your trick.

[Shrubberyjsc]

Option one needs some love.

Maybe they won't notice me.

XD

[Calco]

I voted 3, nothing cures a headache faster than aspirin and daytime tele.

Edit: If I wasn't lazy I would consult the zombie survival guide, but being lazy means I will probably die anyway.

[Infest0125]

I voted 1, because if there are zombies, they won't find you as fast. The sound of the TV may lure them.

[one of them]

"NOISE!?
/runs outside screaming his head off"

Thats what I would do...
(So option 2)

[YuriTMND]

NUMBER 3!

[Frito]

Number 3 seems the most logical answer.

May be a trick question though.

[Funky Biscuits]

Vote_3

[Girls Are Pretty]

F2.

[Slitka]

Number 1.....IGNORE IT!

[DethPenguin]

Number 2
Stop being chickens and go outside.

[Bill_the_nonchalant]

I chose number three. If you stay inside in your dorm it is likely that one of yopur friends will run into your dorm room and warn you about what is happening. Either that or the television in broadcasting an emergency broadcast.

[DethPenguin]

I haven't even said there are zombies yet

October
Dun dun...
2009
DUN!
college student in Riverside
You gotta stop dat shit Zoey! Let's head to Riverside
Bill
You go ahead I'll follow you
ZOMBIE!!!! raid sirens
Self-explanatory
reach for a bottle of aspirin
PILLS HERE!

[Proxy]

Number 3. Because it's what I would do. ;-;

[DaSciz]

Three.

[DethPenguin]

Number 3. Because it's what I would do. ;-;
You would ignore ZOMBIE!!! raid sirens for some tele?

[Proxy]

You would ignore ZOMBIE!!! raid sirens for some tele?
How would I know it's a zombie alarm of some sort? I'd assume they were not my problem.

[DethPenguin]

How would I know it's a zombie alarm of some sort? I'd assume they were not my problem.
Air raid sirens technically.
You know, the ones that go

Nnnnnnnrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooo o.....

[KingKon21]

You would ignore ZOMBIE!!! raid sirens for some tele?
You mean you would belive someone with a megaphone screeming "zombies!"?

[DethPenguin]

You mean you would belive someone with a megaphone screeming "zombies!"?
See above post of mine, I'm talkin about the air raid sirens.
I wouldn't believe them. But I wouldn't ignore it.

Choices:
-Go outside and look at a guy screaming "zombies!" into a megaphone.
-Watch T.V.

[Proxy]

Air raid sirens technically.
You know, the ones that go

Nnnnnnnrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooo o.....
I know.

But you would have no idea they were for zombies.

Plus, I would think 'lol zombies... wtf... those belong in movies and video games'.


Besides, you could see a broadcast about it on TV.

And about hearing the actual siren, I would assume it's for a tornado or something and hide in my closet. Bringing the TV with me. >_>

[KingKon21]

-Go outside and look at a guy screaming "zombies!" into a megaphone.
Touche, i'd go out to see him too, if only to laugh at him.

[Nemesis_vs_Leon]

In the end I'd go hide somewhere with reinforced cover until the sirens stop.

I'd look outside for a second (through a window) as I walk by then go hide.

GO 3!

[Platypus]

I choose one, because while everyone is thinking about getting up to see whats up with the sirens, irl i would have a hang over, and who wants to get the fuck up to watch t.v. after an epic party? I would take me some aspirin and get my ass back to bed.

[OneKplus337]

Three. Only if the TV is the news. Then again, I do live very close to Indian Point, and the tests sound like air raid. Could be a meltdown!!!!

[CarrionSwarmJosh]

I'd check out the windows first? (Voted 2 btw)

[DethPenguin]

Damnit danger don't wait a week. Wait like 2 minutes, because I want to find out what happens :|

Edit: This also reminds of me of "Sawstel" which could make this thread potentially epic.

[Shrubberyjsc]

Yeah, weekly is harsh.

Every other day, perhaps?

[DangerWillRobinson]

Alright, answer is tomorrow. I'm updating the player list right now.

[yourbadmega]

number 3

[DangerWillRobinson]

Update in a few moments.

[Shrubberyjsc]

Huuuurry!

[DangerWillRobinson]

Actually, update in 5 hours. LOL.

My internet shut off and I'm at class right now, so my write up is at home.

[Shrubberyjsc]

few moments.
Actually, update in 5 hours. LOL.

You bastard.

[Infest0125]

I died :(

[Jaws]

id take number 3.

id wake up take some asprin turn on the tv and im pretty sure id just fall asleep infront of the tv


i hope they get me in my sleep...

[Infest0125]

Sunuva bitch I think its a trap!!

Anyone whos at the Riverside college and in that bed, no matter what they do, is doomed. Only later in the story do the people who actually survived the initial outbreak come in, and those people are the ones who didn't vote, and therefore were not at Riverside college where impending doom was upon them!!

[DethPenguin]

i hope they get me in my sleep...
I hope thats when they get you too.

Sunuva bitch I think its a trap!!

Anyone whos at the Riverside college and in that bed, no matter what they do, is doomed. Only later in the story do the people who actually survived the initial outbreak come in, and those people are the ones who didn't vote, and therefor were not at Riverside college where impending doom was upon them!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Edit: Actually, don't worry. This is Riverside, CALIFORNIA. The Riverside on the east coast was the one that got sacked.

:)

[blah]

number 2 cause thats what i would do.

[DangerWillRobinson]

Okay, the time has come for your adventure to end or continue.

---

Answer 1: As you reach for the pillow and cover your head, you begin to push out the sounds of not only the sirens, but the screaming of fellow students and doors slamming all through the halls. You lay there for a good 15 minutes before falling asleep, only to be an easy meal for the zombies that are soon to come.

---

Answer 2: As you hear the sirens, friends and fellow students begin to rush their way down the halls and begin to crowd the elevators. You get worried, and although you have a hangover, you decide to join them out of fright. You just take a handful of pills before leaving, which leaves you distraught and uneasy. You quickly realize how bad of a problem you got yourself into as you reach the bottom floor. There are disfigured people attacking everybody, biting and clawing. The police seem to be absent, as well as any sort of protection. You try to scurry your way back to the elevator, but as soon as the door opens, one grabs you. Unable to fight back due to your overdose, you can only lie there and die in painless fear.

---

Answer 3. You disregard the sirens; they suck cocks at the moment. You take 2 aspirin and decide to flip on the TV for a few minutes. You turn to MTV, only to find it has been replaced with a looping state of emergency address from president Obama. You start flipping through channels in rage and confusion, and find that EVERY channel is this address. All of a sudden, you suddenly notice the sirens and the screaming. You decide to lock your door and throw your desk in front of it. You sit and listen as the TV loops it's message.

"People of the United States, we are in a nation-wide state of emergency. Scientists are yet to understand what is happening, but we do know it is an infection. We advise all residents to stay inside their homes, make no actions to find family or friends. Your best hope as of now is to await military evacuation. Thank you."

Over and over it loops, you stare blankly. What is this? What do I do?

[DethPenguin]

What the hell. "Let me go outside, but overdose first."
:|

After going outside, I watch T.V. and live. Then call Francis.

[DangerWillRobinson]

What the hell. "Let me go outside, but overdose first."
:|

You have a hangover, need meds.

[DethPenguin]

You have a hangover, need meds.
Oh. Forgot about that.
Well, now I'll see how many times I can die.

Also what's the difference between:
Dead "As fuck"
Dead
Surviving
Alive

[Steve Cloud]

Still in the game!

I'm going with number 1. Calling my brother is a waste of time and if I barricade myself in, I'll be effectively trapping myself inside should something get in.

I don't know if this is the immune Francis from L4D though, since theres also been a Bill who apparently throws parties....

...Oh! I just got the joke!

[Frito]

Barricading is a trap, brother is useless, Francis is logical.

[DethPenguin]

http://i552.photobucket.com/albums/jj339/DethPenguin/zombiesurvivalcomic.jpg

[Bill_the_nonchalant]

I chose Answer one. Francis is my favourite survivor anyways. But seriusly, left 4 dead has taught us that the more is merrier. Barricading your door would leave you screwed if they came through the window, calling your brother is complelty usless and anything he would know would be from the broadcast you are watching anyways.

If you had two people then you have increased chances of survival, if you are attacked in the room, such as infected breaking down the door, you would escape through the window, with you and Francis tying together blankets and towles to climb out the window. Then the real adventure begines.

But if you went outside you would be almost screwed so that can't work. Maby climb from on window to another with a chance of slipping but at least you;ll be safe for the time being.

God, I'm having fun with this. :)

[Calco]

I vote Francis, but can I beat him to death with a chair leg if he's infected?

[KingKon21]

I'm gunna laugh when danger says something like "Playing l4d so much has programmed your brain to think everyone named francis is immune to the infection. Well he's not. And your dumbass just let him in without noticing the scratches and bites on his arms. He changes, and due to his size, easily overpowers you, and slowly rips you apart. Nice going."

[Infest0125]

I went with option 1.

Then again, it won't matter, because even if I was wrong and I am going to die, jokes on the fucking zombies, I was already dead before this poll XD

[DethPenguin]

Better than:
-Locking yourself inside (which leads to)
+Starvation
+Trapping yourself if zombies come in through outside source
-Calling your bro in Idaho (which leads to)
+Getting distracted on phone (which leads to)
-Getting 'nomed
-Not noticing zombies coming through your door
+Finding out he's dead and you /ragequit

Or:

-Calling Francis up (which leads to)
+Him being infected and noming you
+Winning the game

Damn forum ruined my fancy chart.

[BaldingSteve]

Sorry, I spawned in late, but I was in specator for the first question.

I went with #1 despite my inclination that #2 will be right.

[Carbomb]

Wait I wanna get in on this. I shall go with question number 2. Since everyone else went the other way.

[DethPenguin]

I went with #1 despite my inclination that #2 will be right

The polls unfortunately seem "obvious choice is obvious".

[Shadow]

I went with option # 2 because it is the safest of all actions, what harm can calling a brother do? He can tell you what is happening if he has seen it in action or something like that or warn not to get bit or whatever.

Calling francis could be a grave mistake, opening the door could lead to zombies pouring in, and its always better safe than sorry.

[DethPenguin]

opening the door could lead to zombies pouring in
better safe than sorry.

A man was holed up in a church. He thought exactly like you. I shot him once he turned.

[Shadow]

^ I see your point, but I fail to see any way in which calling a brother could make you vulnerable. If my brother out in fucking idaho or whatever tells me he needs help I'm not leaving my apartment regardless of what the author of this thing tells me, I have common sense and it was nice knowing him.

But if I call some jackass from a floor down and invite him upstairs to survive with me, who is to say that he isn't already infected and that he won't attack me, or I'll open the door to whoever knocks next, being a zombie or not.

And if you recall, the man in the church was only paranoid because the one person that he did let in, turned out to be infected and had bit him. He wouldn't have turned if he hadn't opened the door in the first place, it seems more likely that the francis reasoning would lead to the church man situation more rather than that of a phone call.

[DethPenguin]

I fail to see any way in which calling a brother could make you vulnerable.

Calling your bro would/could distract you from a sneaky zombie getting in.

I'm not leaving my apartment regardless of what the author of this thing tells me, I have common sense and it was nice knowing him


Yeah, I wouldn't of overdosed before leaving. Strangely, the option mentioned nothing of taking pills, and that was the reason most of us took that option, because it was the only one that couldn't lead to overdose. Seems like it was the only one that lead to overdose. :P

[Platypus]

I died but luckily was saved from a closet (thank god we're not playing vs).

I choose number 2. I don't know francis that well, and i heard he's kind of a douche.

[monk3y]

Can i be in this?
I vote 3 because no one else did

[Shadow]

Any updates?

[Gutspill]

I voted number 2. Number 1 isn't safe, Francis could be infected. We don't know which Francis he is. Nothing seemed too bad about Number 3, but I live on the second floor, so there won't be as many up here.

But by calling my brother to figure out what's going on, I have a chance of finding out what these are and not mistaking them for an angry human and wasting time when I first see one.

Wasn't here for the first vote >.<

[DethPenguin]

I demand my adventure.

[G_X]

We don't know which Francis he is.
Hint: the poll never said &quot;he.&quot;

[DangerWillRobinson]

I'll have the update up in a bit, just finishing some work.

[DaSciz]

Ima call up franky.

[Shadow]

Still waiting..

[wizbang80]

wtf is wrong with this picture..

[CarrionSwarmJosh]

God dammit. If I'm dead i wanna be raped by the tank. I'd watch it in some kind of spirit form.

[Scarneck]

Im here late but im saying that number 1 is my choice

[Carbomb]

Damnit I want to know my fate!

[blah]

Can we have a choice for zombies too ??? So if you died, you're not outa the game?

[Platypus]

IM LOSING MY MIND OVER WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT!

[Steve Cloud]

I wonder how many people I've led to their death...

[Bill_the_nonchalant]

Take your time. :P

[KingKon21]

Its been three days since you last said you would &quot;update this in a bit&quot;. Please dont act like you're vlave, and we're all xbox's, i want the story nao!

[yourbadmega]

i want the story nao!
+1

[Grieverlionhart]

I choose 3 the decent shit on cartoon network might be on

[DethPenguin]

I'm taking control of this story since Danger won't give us adventure.
I will not fail.
http://www.klausscherwinski.de/gfx/gallery/mixed/big/Armageddon.jpg

But I'll do it later.

[Grieverlionhart]

Christ im waiting on that open beta, 29 more mins :|

[DangerWillRobinson]

Sorry, I've been busy with finals.

Today will bare the message.

[Shadow]

^ You have 44 minutes to keep that promise.

[DangerWillRobinson]

Okay, I got less creative with the deaths, but fuck it, the story at least continues.

------
(Call your brother)
You frantically grasp for the phone, you call your brother from basic instinct to make sure he is okay. You only hear his message machine, over and over. You call 4 times, only to leave yourself in the open for one of the ghouls to slip his way into your room and fucking rape you without lube.

(Barricade your Room)
You can only think of protection right now. You keep grabbing item after item and shoving it in front of your door. Your desk, your bunk, your computer, your shirts(lolwut), everything you have. Only to realize you were on the other side of the door. YOU ARE IN THE HALLWAY, SHITSTORM INSUES, DEATH FOLLOWS.

(Call Francis)
You don't know what to do, you frantically pick up the phone before you blank. Names and numbers run through your head, and your friend francis just pops out of the pool. You call him and tell him to get his ass upstairs immediately. He says he needs a minute, and hangs up. You hear his knock 3 minutes later. You let him in, and you noticed he's a bit green in the face. He said he's sick from Chinese food, so you shrug it off. You also notice a small bandage on his arm, and ask what happened.
&quot;I fell earlier and landed on my arm, I just patched it up a bit.&quot;

Again, you shrug this off.


A few hours go by, and you begin to notice that Francis is acting a little weird. As his condition worsens, he begins to tell you what is going on. He talks of an infection, and that most of the European countries are already gone. You don't know what to say, you are in disbelief.

The last piece of information he tells you is that &quot;It is a virus, if someone is bitten, you must kill them, or they WILL turn.&quot;

As soon as that comes from his mouth, you suddenly realize his pale face and bandaged arm. You don't say anything, but you panic in fear that you are locked in your dorm with a possibly infected person. WTF DO YOU DO?

[DethPenguin]

Beat that motherfucker down.

Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.

[Shadow]

Francis is a demons and you, john, must kill the demons! But you are the demons john! And now you are a zombie.

Let him live, and see if he's really telling the truth, you have a baseball bat with you in case he does prove to be a zombie, but the second you go paranoid and start killing off your team out of suspicion, you are fucked.

[KingKon21]

Fuck that, BEAT THAT FUCKING FAGGOT DOWN WITH THAT MUTHAFUCKING BAT.

[Carbomb]

OH FUCK YOU GUYS! How would someone die while being on the phone? When I'm on the phone with someone who's TALKING I pay attention to maybe 3% of what's being said. Nevermind if nobody is picking up.

[Bill_the_nonchalant]

I am letting him live, if what he says is really true then you have a better chance of servival with two. There is allways that risk that he IS infected but that's the fun of this game. Also you could have done better with the barricade story, I found that BS for the people who voted on that one.

[noobishcake]

i dont think zombies are green in the face. they're more like a pale blue or smth.

[KingKon21]

OH FUCK YOU GUYS! How would someone die while being on the phone? When I'm on the phone with someone who's TALKING I pay attention to maybe 3% of what's being said. Nevermind if nobody is picking up.
Yeah, that last one was pretty gay, hope they get better.

Oh, you barricaded yourself outside your room-really? who the fuck would pull all their belongings into the hall, close their door, and start blocking it. You'd think you would notice what you were doing the whole time. Then again, you also got kill because you were on the phone and somehow totally blocked out your surrounds. Really, wtf is this bullshit? If all the channels speak of a world wide state of emergancy, with air raid sirens and all, i would not be so ingulfed in a convo with my brother that i wouldnt noticed some monster trying to kill me.

[Infest0125]

I'm gonna kill Francis.

[DangerWillRobinson]

Oh, you barricaded yourself outside your room-really? who the fuck would pull all their belongings into the hall, close their door, and start blocking it. You'd think you would notice what you were doing the whole time. Then again, you also got kill because you were on the phone and somehow block out your surrounds. Really, wtf is this bullshit?


The game, you lost it.


Seriously though, I don't have time to really make these neat, I have too much school to worry about, that's why I proposed a weekly update. The sooner they come, the more half-ass they get really.

[KingKon21]

The game, you lost it.
Shit, i accidently the game.

[yourbadmega]

Where's the option to ask if he is infected?

[Calco]

I vote Francis, but can I beat him to death with a chair leg if he's infected?

I stick with what I said earlier.

[Xsng]

Save Francis.

Then if he really is a zombie, he'll bite me, I'll kill him, then I'll do what he did to me, to someone else.

[Platypus]

I'm gonna kill the mofo.

Option one.

Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.

[yourbadmega]

Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry.
are you sure? Because what happens when you are alone and a horde rushes? You could leave francis to die and be
better safe than sorry.

Edit: I voted to kill the faggot anyway

[DethPenguin]

Yeah, that last one was pretty gay, hope they get better
OH FUCK
My versions were better

[Gutspill]

Aw, man... that's dissapointing. I was raped (no lube) by a zombie....

Well, at least I wasn't completely dead, just infected from zombie jizz, and so i'm gonna come back as a hunter.

lol, whatever.

[DethPenguin]

Where's the option to ask if he is infected?

Or better yet, check if the wound under the bandage is a bite or not. :P
Instead you either gotta kill him or let him kill you.

[SlainPwner666]

Um, I read the first page, and I don't get it. I think because of the title that a poll was organized. It is gone now, and obliviously I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Sounds epic though

[armored cow]

Um, I read the first page, and I don't get it. I think because of the title that a poll was organized. It is gone now, and obliviously I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Sounds epic though
Ditto

[Xsng]

Go to the bottom of page 3. I got here too late for the first poll too.

[DethPenguin]

Um, I read the first page, and I don't get it. I think because of the title that a poll was organized. It is gone now, and obliviously I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Sounds epic though

The first polls options:
1. Take pills and go to sleep
2. Go outside
3. Take pills and watch T.V. (Right answer)

Second poll:
1.Call your friend Francis (Right answer)
2.Call your brother in Idaho
3.Barricade yourself

[armored cow]

Let him live! You can always kill him if he is actually turning.

[Shadow]

Just so no one forgets about this, bump.

[SlainPwner666]

Lock your head [and safely protected brains] inside a helmet, and let him live. If he turns....
BEAT THAT FUCKING FAGGOT DOWN WITH THAT MUTHAFUCKING BAT.

[Chr0n1c]

I don't know if this is the immune Francis from L4D though, since theres also been a Bill who apparently throws parties....

...Oh! I just got the joke!

LOL!! I had to think about it for a minute, but yeah, very clever indeed!

&quot;...Son, we just crossed the street. Let's not throw a party until we get out of the city.&quot;